People Pleaser or God Pleaser

“If if words could describe the real feeling inside. And I could decide that there's nothing to hide. I could take great satisfaction and not be driven to distraction. By expressing fully my feelings inside.”

David W Ebel. 1974.

Even as a teenager. I had a lot of things to say. Yet it seemed that no one really wanted to hear it. I learned to be a people pleaser. Because I wanted people to like me. But in most cases. The problem was that I had to learn to be like them, say things like them and to pretend I thought like them. It is the price for that mindset to be able to belong. That led me to hide much of who I was and what I really felt and what I had to say.

This became the beginning of a very bad habit.

As a sickly child. My parents became very strong guidance people in my life. This was good and bad. The good was that they took good care of me. They watched out for me. And they did their best to protect me and guide me.

The bad was my mom had a very strong personality. And her expectations were crystal clear. And if you clashed with those expectations, the punishment was severe. Then I would go to school. And I want it to be cool and belong. So, I began to pretend I was like them.

Unfortunately. It doesn't take long, when you fall into that habit util it actually begins to absorb into who you seem to be.

And it becomes your survival, your Mask. My need for approval was so important to me that I Had lots of people who liked me (or the pretend me, actually) therefore I was popular yet not really known. People liked it when I pretended to be like them. Because I was confident that regardless of what I did and said, it didn’t matter if it was not what I believed, their acceptance was the goal I was terrified it they really knew me that i would not be received and I would become ostracized for it.

Ever feel like that? At home. At work. At school. At college. With your friends. At church. Or any place else where you gather with others. You have a tremendous decision to make. You will either be one who is firm in their belief and doesn’t change for others. And trust God will give you friends that'll accept you the way you are. Or you can become a chameleon where you're one thing to one person and different to please another person. It's a terrible habit. Because at some point, you are not yourself, not like God and you're going to forget what you really believe. And it will shape who you become. And who you really are.

Jesus said I am the way, the truth and the life. And no one comes to God the Father but through me.

He doesn't ask, He lovingly commands. He doesn’t insist that we become changed to come to him. He accepts us just the way we are. And then, with His mercy and love, He gently loves us into becoming genuine, more like Him, and being real with God and then with man.

You become a God pleaser instead of a people pleaser. It's a huge difference. because when you really love God, one of His first commands is for you to love other people. That does not mean that as a God pleaser who loves people all people won't think you value them because as God loves them, But God will be pleased!

My best friends in life appeared after I gave my life to Christ and began to love myself as God loves me. I slowly but surely. As I fell in love with Jesus, came to the realization that If God loves me for who I am, then that is priority one. How I live, how I act, how I speak, who I speak to and how I speak to those people. Is either going to please God? Or it's not.

The challenge is. We'd like to get approval from our peers. So many times, we will dull the edge of our “sword” and try not to cut it or hurt anybody.

The scripture says, “casting all your cares on him because he cares for you”. It's profound. If I'm carrying my burdens. If I'm holding grudges, bitterness, frustration or doubt or hesitation regarding someone else. I hate I will become a people person. A people pleasing person seeking attention, approval and love. Or I will be a God person and seek God's opinion.

We can be hindered by how we serve others and please them. Or we can be empowered. By pleasing God. Giving him freedom in our heart, our minds, our thoughts in our life. And discover the amazing joy that comes. From God working through us. And training us up his way so we can be more like him. More loving, more encouraging. More storing, rebuilding. Or compassionate. More thoughtful. More like him in every way.

This is a mission and a passion for me. I’ve been practicing for over 50 years. And still, I'm open to God doing new work in me. And I pray that you will be encouraged and ask God to help you examine your heart as well.

Seek God, he will be fine.