Rosemary Fisher

David W Ebel: you God Says Yes Podcast. You are welcome here. Well, welcome to another issue of God Says Yes, the podcast. My name is David Ebel. I'm your host and been in ministry over 50 years, met a lot of wonderful people, but I've also met a lot of struggling people. And that's why this podcast is here, because we know that not everyone gets through life unscathed. A lot of us have been betrayed, belittled. we've been humiliated, been, you people who made promises and didn't pay us back or whatever, and we end up becoming jaded a bit. We're not even sure we want to trust God because everything else has failed. And our purpose for this podcast is to move from that to men are weak and men fail, but God never fails. He created us to love. We were custom made one at a time by God from the inside out. from the inside out, we're just like Him. We're made in His image. And all He wants out of sending His Son to die and rise again from the dead is without the shedding of innocent blood, there's no forgiveness for sin. So God led Jesus to die and take our punishment. So we don't have to be punished for the things we've done wrong. Jesus already paid for that price. So now we can come to a new relationship with God with mercy and love and healing and grace. We can finally, we can figure out how to get past all the other things and discover how good God is permanently from the inside out within us. So that's why we're here and we're grateful you've taken time to listen and to view. I have with me my friend Rosemary Fisher. Rosemary is a ball of fire. She's excited. And I'm grateful for that because excited about Jesus is what I want to be. I want people to be able to look at me and know that something important is happening inside of me. I'm in the grocery store aisle and people are asking me, what's different about you? And I love that because I'm not having to tell them. They're seeking after the answers. But if I'm living it, I'm still telling it. I'm just telling it softly. So Rosemary, welcome. Tell us about yourself. Hey, David. Thank you so much for having me. My name is Rosemary Fisher. I'm on this podcast from Hillsboro, Texas. And my story starts out like a lot of people. I grew up in an alcoholic family. and a religious family. And I suffered a lot of abuse, verbal abuse. My mother was constantly beaten by my father. And I'm just a little girl. These are my parents. These are the people I'm supposed to love and protect me. And I had an older brother and he's still around, unfortunately hasn't spoken to me for what 26 years now. Still don't know what I did, but I still pray for him every day and I pray that he gets the help that I chose to get for myself Because I do love him and I do want him to know about Jesus But anyway, I grew up in this very rage-aholic atmosphere as a child that as soon as my father came home and we heard the car close a car door close egg shells we were walking on egg shells and We had no idea what was going to take place. So my father was a train engineer. He drove for ⁓ the train system out in Ohio. And so we had a very good income. He was an excellent provider, even though he was a working alcoholic. He was an excellent provider. So I didn't lack anything. What I lacked was being told I was beautiful, worth fighting for and captivating. I missed out seeing a husband love his wife. I missed out on a father being sober that would reach out his arms to hug me and be part of my life instead of watching him throw food because it wasn't what he wanted that my mother prepared. And then seeing him constantly beating up my brother because he wanted him to be tough. He thought if he physically abused him that that would grow him up to be like him, which he's got a lot of similar ⁓ character ⁓ aspects of my father. But this continued, this continued for nine years until I heard the phone ring. and hearing that my father got into a head-on collision on Train Avenue on his birthday, hitting a beer truck, which was his drink of choice. Pretty weird, isn't it? His birthday, his drink of choice, head-on collision on Train Avenue. And that's what took his life. Now, my mother, I grew up in a very religious You don't do this, you don't do that, you don't wear a cross, everybody else is pagan, you're the only people that are chosen, that are gonna get into the promised land. And you know, when I was little, I loved God. I would draw him pictures, I would talk to him. I love animals. I'm an animal to this day. I rescue, I take care of animals, because they showed me unconditional love. That's really what it was and still is today. So I always loved the part in scripture that would talk about in our new earth that we would be able to stick our hand in the hole and not get bit by a cobra and the lion will lay with the lamb. And all of that was just exciting to me. But through the watching of the abuse and then the church abuse, if you didn't obey these rules, it was just like being raised by a bunch of Pharisees when you read the Bible. They're always the ones telling you what to do, but then you're in the bathroom and then you hear the gossip. You see how they're living double lives. And I've always been a truth teller. I mean, I still am, only because I just don't feel comfortable to lie. I've lied, but then I'd have to make it right because it's just how God created me. So I'm a truth teller. So at the age of 14, I got baptized in this false religion at 12, and not because I wanted to be part of that religion. It was because I loved God. And I still love God. But there was a period, and I'll get to that, where I thought God was mean. I thought he had a big ruler and he was ready to tap me at any time because of the people that said that they were his children. So I can relate to anybody listening, if you have chur-churts, I could probably sit down with you and tell you at least 10 stories of myself personally. getting attacked or being spoken about that was not godly and God hates that. He hates causing division amongst the brethren and that's one of the seven things to sow discord. But I just want people to know that church hurts are real and I was one that suffered from it. So, you know, I'm going to this religious church three times a week, knocking on doors, doing everything they're telling me to do. I get baptized at 12. Then after 12, I start noticing that what people were saying at church was not how they were living. And I'm one of those, what you see is what you get. I raised my son like that even today. If I'm in a cranky mood, he'd hit my reset button. But if it didn't work, I'd be cranky for a little bit longer than normal. I can't put on a fake face. That's why I couldn't be a lawyer. Anyway, sorry if there's any lawyers listening. Love you. So I had the alcoholism. I had the fake religion and I grew up in a lie. It was just a lie. So this is my father dies at nine. We're still going to this church. All the family from my mother's side is part of this church. They're all leaders in this church. So I started at 13. I started looking around going, these people are fake. They're not real. What they say they believe in isn't truth. And plus they really treated my mother poorly. She's beautiful. She's a widow. They're all worried she's gonna go after one of the men in the congregation. And she was an outcast. She was just an outcast. And she was very hurt by that. Extremely, yeah, extremely hurt. And so I started looking at the world. had, know, in junior high, all the kids that I started being friends with, they were truth tellers. They were like, if they didn't like you, they'd tell you. And I just made a decision at that time, they're smoking weed. And I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna try that. And I started smoking weed before school. And I didn't wanna lie and be a cheat. So I just went to the other church and said, look, I'd rather smoke weed, true story. I would rather smoke weed than hang out with a bunch of hypocrites like you guys. So bad. I did repent later in life to say I should have had more respect for authority. There were other ways I could say it, but that's just what I did. And I left the church, and I just went on a big rebellion. Then my mother, she left, and then I'm 14, and she decides she's going to start taking me to bars, liquor institutions, and start letting me drink alcohol. while she's drinking because she no longer wanted to be a mom, she wanted to be my friend. Now, at this time, I had no idea that my mother's mother committed suicide. Never knew that story. Didn't know about that till later in my life. So my mother wants to be my friend because she doesn't have any friends at church. She spent all that time in that church and all of those people. And that's what you have to be cautious of in these cults. They try to get you isolated and you do everything with these people. And then if you fall out of ranks with them, you're kicked out. You're the black sheep, no more talking, no more communicating. There is no restoration process. You're done. You're blacklisted. And so that pain of her being isolated in a widow, she just went to alcohol. She went to alcohol, and because my father was an alcoholic, and then I was practicing being an alcoholic when I was really little. David, now tell me, if your daughter took a whole bunch of shot glasses, and I don't know those of you that remember 50-50, it was like a lemon-lime drink, or Canada dry ginger ale, I'd sit there and pour shots as a little girl, and would take shots and act like I'm drunk. Wouldn't you be a little concerned? I don't mean to laugh, but that was me. I was literally practicing to be an alcoholic as a little girl because everywhere I go to my father's... Those are role models. Exactly. And I knew how to pretend I was drunk. So anyway, I start drinking with my mother. I got a job in a bar. And I'm underage. I am underage and I'm working in a bar. This I... I was doing really well in school. was an A student. I was an athlete. Then all of a sudden, of course, the partying, staying up at night, working at a bar. I just decided to just forget about school because I was making lots of money. Well, I came home one night at 16 and my mother committed suicide. And it was the same way my grandmother committed suicide. And the religious family came over that day. And as they came in my house, I'm in shock. Nobody debriefed me. I found her with my brother. She was in rigor mortis at the time and I'm trying to bring her back to life screaming, begging her not to leave me. She's all I had. She's all I had. So I'm walking around the neighborhood in my house coat and just, it's such shock. And I sat down and my mother's family, the religious Pharisees came over and they start talking about all the things that Mary, which was my mother's name, Mary, promised them. And they're trying to pick up the furniture, talking about taking these items out of my house on the day she kills herself. And all I can tell you is my language was inappropriate, I told them to get, told them to get the, you know what, out of my house right now. And I meant it. I meant it. Well, my mother left my uncle as the executor of her will. Yes. So that was a whole nother story that I had to deal with when I was, you know, ready to discuss, you know, that again, I was 16 and I went to court because my mother left a will that I would go live with her sister that was this religion. And I told the judge, honestly, I go, look, they're all Jehovah's Witnesses. and am not a Jehovah's Witness and if you send me to California, was Orange County, Orange County, California, I said I will run away. And the judge knew that I was telling the truth because I meant it. And he gave me emancipation, which means that at 16, I could be an adult. So at that time I received railroad retirement pension and I really wish David I could have had a real kingdom minded, Jesus loving neighbor or friend that would have been in my life at that time that could have encouraged me. You first of all told me really about what the kingdom of you know Jesus Christ is all about but also encouraged me to go to college or Go to school, just don't quit working in the bars and wasting your life away, but that's not my story. know, God has done amazing things in my life and I can't wait to tell you about that. But at that time, I needed somebody, a real person who loved people, didn't judge them because what they wore, how they talked. I mean, everybody that Jesus preached to were people like me. ⁓ So anyway, At that time, I just thought God was mean. My mother's gone, my best friend, I don't have anybody, my brother's a hot mess, he likes to hit me all the time anyway. I was brought up with a lot of physical abuse from him ever since I was little. My father abused my mother, my brother abused me. And so he only liked me when I was drinking. And then I'm trying to work, I'm trying to pay the bills, and then... I met a young man that came into my life at that time that was sober and he kicked my brother out saying you got to get your head together and he moved to Houston, Texas. And so I was dry for about four years of not drinking, but I didn't have God. It was all in my own doing and that's why it didn't last. And so I didn't have any help. I just cold turkey'd it and my life just was miserable. because I never healed from the suicide. I never healed from being an orphan spirit of having a real father. I looked at my father like he was God, this mean man that just always wanted to hit you and be mean to you and throw your puppies out of the car on a moving highway because you're not allowed to have a puppy. I have a lot of trauma I had through those years. You know, I'm living my life like this and there was a song that was real popular when I was 16, 17. It was by Van Halen called Running With The Devil. Yeah. And I'll never forget. I hopped in a car. started driving. That song was on and I'm like, Yep. Looks like I'm just going to run with the devil. And you know what? That's what I did. And guess what? I know what hell is like and I'm not going back. And ⁓ ⁓ Yeah, my life just went downhill. I worked in, I always had a job. I was a functioning alcoholic. I didn't drink every single day because the majority of time if I drank, I drank a lot and I was sick those two or three days and I couldn't drink. And then when I went to drink, I drank a lot and the same cycle would continue. But I'd show up for work. I worked in radio. I worked in advertising. You know, I've had some really cool, fun jobs. And I was able to get away with the drinking when I worked in radio because they always gave you promos, know, at restaurants and different places if you gave them air time for commercials. So it was a perfect place. But I find out after I get saved, there's all these Christians that work there, but not one of them ever invited me to go to church. I understand. So if you're a Christian out there and you see somebody wrecking their life and get a name of Otis at the Christmas party, maybe they need to meet Jesus because I needed him. I needed somebody to love me, love me enough to tell me the truth. And nobody told me the truth until I had a modeling agency. I had a business where I was I'm on Morning Exchange, I'm on all these high-end, all the professional football players' wives were buying my clothing line. got out of, I had a designer out in California that I met. And I'm meeting all these people of prominence, and then I meet this one woman, Lebanese woman who, Roman Catholic, very straightforward, really cool lady, and she had a bathing suit line. that she customized bathing suits. So God had her meet me and we start working together doing all these fashion shows at these high level clubs. Well, I'm continuing to drink alcohol and she's observing me and we became very good friends. She actually became like a spiritual mom to me. She was about six years older than me and she went to Pentecostal churches. She knew a lot about Jesus. Well, she looked at me one time in a car. after many blackouts and many episodes that I would have. And she looked at me with love, something I never saw before, with tears coming out of her eyes and said, you know, I really love you and I hate to watch you die. And if you don't get help and quit drinking, you're gonna die. So either you start going to AA meetings like my brother and get the help you need. or I'm just going to have to let this friendship go. And she's weeping. Now, I didn't think I had a problem, David. mean, yeah, that was amazing. It's amazing how you can have so many trade wrecks that are all related to the same thing. But the denial and the self-deception is so real. And so I kicked and screamed and I said, okay, fine. So she would drop me off at an AA meeting and it's so funny, I never got embarrassed being drunk and stupid at the bar. But ⁓ me go to an AA meeting? ⁓ what horrible, horrible, I mean, it's amazing at what the devil does to a person and what he did to me because my thinking was so warped. So I go to these meetings and all of a sudden I start to hear testimonies and I never heard those in church. I never heard of someone saying my higher power was Jesus, you know, and I'm sitting there going, I don't know about Jesus. I don't know about this God thing. All I know is he's really mean. He's got this ruler out. He's just waiting to tap me and hit me. I didn't know the loving, kind, long suffering, merciful father that I now. call my father at that time. So I keep going to these meetings and at that time I was engaged to ⁓ the production manager over at the radio station and I knew I didn't love him. I thought if I got, you know, I liked him, I thought I loved him, but I really, it was an escape for me because he supported my recovery and I thought if I married him, I was going to have the white picket fence. It was my destination getaway. Instead of healing all the trauma and hurts, letting Jesus heal all that stuff in me, I was escaping to this marriage. And so I realized I got a phone call from the man I'm married to now for 30 years. And I dated him prior to this relationship. And I sabotaged it all. The minute he told me he loved me. and went out and got drunk and did everything he told me not to do. So I just tried it. And he was the one I really was in love with. So he ended up calling me and asked me out on a date and I said, I can't, I'm engaged. And then I hung up and I realized how much I really should not get married. So I got really drunk that night as, you know, what a coward. Drinking. You know, someone said this in an AA meeting and it hit me. Alcoholism is a coward's way to suicide. And you know, because I had suicide in my family, it was like that hit home with me. I'm like, you know, I was a coward. I had to drink in order to think I had some courage. And that was a lie. That was a lie from the pit of hell. And so I got really drunk to break off the engagement. And then I started going into AA meetings and just God was working with me through this. And then I just broke. I just gave up one night. I just wanted, I was done. And when you watch my 700 Club video, I'm going to send you, you'll see how I just got out. wasn't at church. I didn't hear the gospel of Jesus Christ. I just cried out to God because in the Bible God says he hears. the broken, he's near to the broken and contrite heart. I was done. I was done. And I cried out to him and I was on my knees and all of a sudden I felt this presence. This presence just envelope me as if he was just holding me of peace. Something I would never ever experienced before in my entire life. And I can tell you this, for three days I was weeping and weeping. I did not go to work. My eyes were shut from the weeping. I could barely open my eyes. And I believe there was some deliverance going on. I believe that at that time, I had more deliverance later, but it was just, he was just healing my heart. He was healing me. A new thing happened inside of me. ⁓ employees that I worked with came over in my apartment knocking on the door and they're looking at me like, wow you looked horrible but I'm like, but I'm so happy. I don't know what happened but something happened and I start looking. I'm like that had to have been God because I walked outside after that third day and everything was new. I wanted to go smell the flowers. Wanted to look at the blue sky do you all my life? I never went outside and wanted to smell the flowers look at the at the blue sky and I knew Something happened inside of me because I cried out to God So I started going church to church except the church that I knew was you know, the Colts a good church. Yeah, and so I'm like they're all locked I mean, I'm going to the Catholic, let the sinner in, let the sinner in. And then finally I found one that was open and I heard the gospel preached and it was exactly how you started the podcast. I heard about, you know, God, loving God, the God I didn't know, but I knew that when he touched me and anyone listening, everybody's got a different story and God will manifest to everybody differently the way that he has created you. But when you cry out with an honest, honest heart, with a truth heart, I need you and I need you now. I promise he shows up. So I finally heard the gospel David accepted Jesus Christ and then the transformation glory to glory little by little started to happen. I started to hate the things he hated, but not in judgment, because I used to participate in those things. I just didn't participate anymore. You know, I was still smoking cigarettes at the time, two packs a day, and I always tried to quit in my own strength. And when I'd ask him for help, I'd be like this, you know, one hand open and, ⁓ it's sort of my vice to help me through. And people who smoke cigarettes understand that, but those who don't won't, or it could be addiction of anything. You wanna give it away, but you're still holding on to it. Finally, I opened up my hands and I got on my knees and I just truth told, God, I can't do this on my own. I need you to take it away from me. And when I was trying to quit in my own flesh, every time I smelled it, it smelled good. Well, this time, because I really surrendered it, if I smell it, I get sick and I gotta be far away from it. And glory to God. He delivered me like that. Amen. I agree and I'm excited to hear how good God is. We have things in common as we both agree to even before we hit the record button we understand. I was raised without church but that didn't mean we didn't have dysfunction in our family. I know that until I gave my heart to Jesus, I barely survived. I didn't really live. And my mom died an alcoholic. In her family, every generation has alcoholics in it all the way back. I tried to trace it back and got about four generations in and gave up because it was just that depressing. But ⁓ when I started drinking, I did not expect to become instantly ⁓ addicted. But was within four months. ⁓ Everybody else is drinking three shots and I'm drinking a pint and taking a pint home. And the next morning the pint was empty. you know, was just... Then when I realized that I was addicted, then I... The other promise I made is I'd never do drugs and then I... I was using the drugs to dull the guilt from the alcoholism. I'm using alcohol for the pain, I'm using drugs to numb the guilt from the pain. And I had no control. All I had was misery. it's funny, just like water seeks its own level, when you're hanging around people who do things a certain way, CLEAN doesn't splash off on you. And many times people don't know. You talk about cigarette smoking. My mom was constant smoker. She was one of the best cooks I've ever had. She almost starved to death during the Depression, so she became like a gourmet chef. Wow. We had good meals every meal. She made big cakes and all that. And when my wife and I got married, My mom said, I want to make something special for you. I said, well, I know what I want. You make this triple chocolate cake. The thing is that deep. And she put a pound of buttercream frosting on it. And you put it in the fridge. When you slice the piece, the frosting would just go flop. And I couldn't wait. I didn't even eat lunch that day. I was coming home from work to eat that cake and I was so excited. And I put a bite of it in my mouth and all I could taste was ashtray. ⁓ the smoke got into the frosting. And it was the hardest thing I ever threw up in my life. ⁓ And I never was a smoker. Neither was my husband that I married. That's a God story, David. But it was just... ⁓ I didn't have to have cigarettes propulse me like you did. I had all I had to have is a taste of that that frosting and I could hardly be in a car when someone smoked. I don't mean with them smoking, that they smoked. It was in their clothes. It just you know I was done and then when it was time for me to go out into the world and witness God had to actually tone down my sensitivity to it so that I could love the sinner and not, you know, love the sinner and hate the sin. He's so good. be there for them. Yeah. Because otherwise I'd be talking to them and start wrenching. And that wasn't helpful. That would not work. That would not go well, David. I learned that from her. But, you know, we've just been so grateful. Our ministry has reached places we never thought. You we were in the ghetto of Detroit for five and a half years. Wow. and planted a church there. Ran a Christian coffee house in such a violent neighborhood that if the building still stood I could take you to the seven bullet holes that were meant for me. Wow. You mean, and I got no scratch. When God gets hold of you because you give Him, finally give Him the room to, you give Him your heart gladly and you leave it there. Sometimes it takes practice. You give it, take it back, give it, take it back. Because you're almost afraid to trust Him with everything. God, you can handle a big part, so I'll just manage these little things. No. It's either all or nothing. Either you trust Him and jump off the cliff of faith and let Him show you, or you lean over the edge and go, yep, that's there. I see it's there, but I'm holding onto that rail. And as long as you're holding onto the way it used to be, You're never free to receive both with both hands all that he had planned for you. Amen. And you miss out because you're not trusting. you know, with people like us and a lot of your listeners, you know, once we come to truth with ourselves and realize, hey, I control because everybody that control things around me hurt me or leadership hurts you, your family, you know, they hurt you. It's hard to. It's hard to trust a God you cannot see. And once you come to that realization of truth and talk to God like a father, like father, I've never had a Like a good father. Yes, yes, a good father. And even if somebody had a good father, not like mine, which I pray they do, my son, we raised a boy up. They had two loving parents. He never saw me drink or smoke. He never saw my husband ever raise his hand or voice to me. And he's a godly man and a godly father. But you know what? God is even better than my husband for my son. So, who's ever listening, you know, I just want them to understand it's normal to feel that distrust when you come from so much hurt. And, you know, when I started talking to God like that, saying, Father, I've never had a good father and I need you to teach me how to be a little girl with you because I didn't meet him till I was 30 years of age. Even though emotionally I was still 13 when I had my first blackout because I never emotionally grew because all I did was stuff by drugs and alcohol. And that's why I try to help people when they have a, you know, an addict in their family. First, you look for denial. If there's denial there, you can't help them. You got to surrender. You got to admit there's a problem. you know that. Many of us who lived in the recovery lifestyle know what a crash and burn is. Yes. That's when you finally run out of people who will help you. When you finally have tried everything in your resources and they didn't work. And everybody says, OK, I love you, but no. Yeah. And there's no place to go. There's nothing you can do. You've burned every bridge. You've borrowed every nickel. And people say, love you, but I don't like you and I'm not dealing with you. That's right. And at that point, that's what it takes for some people to come to God because there is no other choice. I've read the Bible enough to know that God doesn't need us or want us to be miserable. but if we won't receive it with mercy and grace, He is willing to allow us to be stubborn, foolish, pig-headed, whatever term you want to point at yourself and say, that's me. He allows us to go through that until we realize that all these other paths go nowhere. He's a gentleman. That's right. He is not going to force himself on us like Satan does. you know, how cool is that, that He's such a gentleman? and the Holy Spirit. know, so just to share a little bit about the progress after I got saved, you know, I had everything I destroyed was still there. That didn't like poof go away, but I had the Holy Spirit now, my little helper, my friend. And, you know, I just did a lot of talking. I didn't do religious prayers because I didn't even know how to pray. I was never taught how to pray and I would just ask for help like Holy Spirit, you're my helper. Can you help me? with this situation and you know the stories of grace of things that I had to face when I had to go say sorry to somebody because I had a blackout and I didn't remember what I did or what I said and I really did I worked those steps of you know just making amends with people and taking responsibility was huge and it was so great how I would see God just his mercy. and how we'd open up a door and how I had to realize, well, you could say you're sorry to somebody. It doesn't mean that they're going to accept it. And there's times that, you know what? I had to earn people's trust back. I destroyed the trust. And that's a pointer I like to point out to people, that if you have an addict or someone that keeps telling you over and over again that they're sorry, but there's no change. You know, repentance means to change the way you think about something. Now when Jesus came, his first sermon was repent, which means to change the way you think about things because of the kingdom of heaven, or kingdom of God is here. And that was Jesus. We got to change, like instead of religious thinking, I think kingdom. I'm a whole different person. than who I was 30 years or even last year. He's still transforming my mind because I'm renewing it. And that's one thing that's so awesome about Father God is he wants to partner with us. He partnered with me, partners with me every day. And when I mess up, instead of running to drink or to go to food or whatever we can use spending money, everybody's got their own go-to. It's like I had to recognize I'm beautifully flawed. I am going to mess up. I'm going to have a wrong thought. I'm going to do this. But instead of that religious mindset that I need to suffer and I need to be beaten up for it emotionally, which Satan, our enemy wants, I just need to come to God and say, Lord, I just did this and please forgive me. I'm going to change my mind about this because I'm not going to do this again, nor do I want to. And I put it up on the altar to burn now before the judgment seat. Because when I stand before my Father and Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, to take an account for my life, I want to make sure I blot out any remembrance of things that I've done to dishonor Him, to dishonor one of His children, and anything that I have done. So when I go to see Him, I can lay the jewels of the things I have done with the right heart motive and lay it at His feet to say, you for rescuing me from the kingdom of darkness. Amen. I think that sometimes we get in such a habit of loopholes, that I will give you everything, but I'm going to hold this little loophole over here just in case. we repent doesn't mean just, I'm sorry, if we're going this way and we repent, we ask God to give us the courage to go that way. Amen. To turn it all the way around and to seal the loopholes. No going back. No excuses, no arguments, no negotiation, no justification, no rationalization. It's either I'm going to say I'm sorry. The kind of sorry that God was looking for is the kind that is heartfelt, ⁓ totally surrendered and willing to change. And if you're willing, you may have to do it 30 times before you get out of the bad habit. ⁓ of doing it because you've had years of practice doing it wrong. And perfectionism. That's another one that I had that I had in order for God to be pleased with me, I had to somehow be perfect. And that's such a lie from the enemy. And that's why I say we're all beautifully flawed. I'm just loyal to King Jesus. You know? Amen. Amen. And I think that the key to it all is transparency. We've got to be transparent before God. Not that He doesn't see. Right. But until we're willing to be transparent and invite Him to see as a different thing. Because you your family, you walk in the house with them and you know who they are. But you don't know everything about them. No. Because they only reveal to you what they want you to see. When you're transparent with God, He knew when you walked in the door who you were. But when you finally say, Lord, You know, the games aren't playing, everything's wrong, I'm empty. Please. Fill me. Rescue me from me. Deliver me with the blood you shed on Calvary. Wash me clean from all the unwilled things. You know, what sin is, when you know what right is and you do the wrong thing on purpose. That's sin is. And it's wrong. You know, it's control. most of us, you know, especially if you've been wounded, Control is the prevention. It's not the right prevention, it's the way we prevent more pain. It is. It's a control that self-protects. When you put the wall up to prevent the pain, you also wall off all the good stuff that's trying to come your way. That's right. That's right. Take a garden hose, and the water's going through it. I'll use it and say, I have two kids about 14 months apart. And the older one loved it, take the younger one and outsmart her. So we'd in the backyard in the waiting pool and the older one would hold the hose up and put it over his head and get himself nice and wet. Then he'd offer it to the younger one, she'd hold her over her head and he'd pinch the hose. She looked up and there'd be nothing. She'd look again and he'd let go of the hose and she'd get half drowned. Oh my. When we... When we pinch the hose, we try to control the blessings of God that are flowing by trying to manage it ourselves. What we're doing is we're stopping all the blessings. We're stopping all the good things that God desires to give us that he wants us to have because we're doing it survival style. And you know David, I just found this out like the last two years. You know, I read, I've read the Bible over and over again and, but this time it really hit me that there was a book written about us before we even came here. There is a book in heaven and you mentioned it, that God already knows who we are. He already knows what he wants to give us. And you know, I just wrote a book on that actually, on the books, the books are opened when we go to see Jesus at the judgment seat, all the books are going to be opened and you i've asked god to redeem my time because i found this out you know sixty two years of age and if i would have known this when i got saved i think it could have had a big impact on me but not long story short you know god knew us before we were born there is a book written on david book and a book on our our spouses and i just want to fulfill that calling and he gives us those gifts that we have that we can use to fulfill that book. So I want to encourage everybody out there that you are not a mistake. And God is so gracious that he will redeem the time. Because now you know that there is a book written about you, a good book, that the enemy has tried to make sure that you have not fulfilled it. And my life is now about just encouraging people to use their gifts and talents like you shared before we got on here with all the ministry work you have done by using the gifts and talents that God has given you. And you know, I married the man that I loved, that I didn't, you know, we've been married now for 30 years. We dated a couple of years before we got married and he saw the transformation in me. That was the one I sabotaged. But you know, I ask God, Lord, if this man is for me, then make it happen. I put him in my God box. I have a God box. I write down the date and things that my, you know, my desires help that I need whatever it is. I stick it in the box. And if I start worrying about it, David, that means I took it out of the angels hands and I got to rewrite it because once you give it to God, you got to release it for the angels to go forward and fulfill it for you. Open up the doors. Of course you got to get off the couch. But I just, look at my God box all the time and I see all the prayers that he has answered. And I put my fiance in the box and he's now been my husband, it'll be 30 years this June 9th. you know, we have just, it's a gift from God to have a marriage that is blessed. Now I'm not saying that it's all hunky dory all the time, but 98 % of the time it is because we both laid our marriage at his feet. We didn't just get married to get married. We really wanted to know that it was His will for us. And regardless of what you're going through, just give it to God. And if He says no, He's got something better. I've had no's. And if He says no, there's a good reason, because He's got something so much better. I love your name of your podcast, God Says Yes. Well, that's the whole thing is we've heard no's in every In every kind of excuse, every kind of way, any kind of rationalization, sometimes people will even use no to build themselves up by putting you down. And unfortunately, it's another control issue. Someone else's control issue. And they're trying to control you with it. The key is that God created you to love, always has loved you. You don't look like anybody else because you're a custom made. That's why even twins and triplets, look the same on the outside, but that doesn't mean they're the same inside. I've got family that are twins and they look the same, but my goodness, they're different people. God did that on purpose because we're made from the inside out to be in the image of God, not from the outside in to look like each other. But God loved us. He doesn't care what our history is. He doesn't care what when our ancestries are. He'd be grateful when we let go enough that we can actually stop the bad habits that are generational. Your dad beat your mom, so your brother beats you. That's generational if you don't stop it. Yep. And I broke my generational curses. As soon as I got into a really good church in Atlanta, Georgia that really taught about generational curses. And that's exactly what the doctor does when he asks you about your pre-medical history. A lot of times it's all generational. A lot of doctors know about generational sins before we do. And I just wrote them all down from Deuteronomy because you know Moses stood on the mountain he said hey if you do this you're gonna get cursed. Now if you do this you're gonna get blessed. Now at the end of it it was like I really recommend you do that for blessing so they are blessed. I love that part. But I took all the curses I wrote them down and because I didn't know a lot about generations of my family I know my All of my dad's side are all alcoholics and unfortunately they're still practicing. ⁓ And then the other religious side, they cut me off so I have no conversation at all, but I pray for them. I do. I hope and pray they meet Jesus and get out of religion and get into his kingdom because boy, it's a blast to be a child of Almighty God. I just prayed them all even ones I wasn't sure of. I just said, Lord, I'm your daughter. ⁓ Jesus shed his blood from all of my disease, all of my diseases, all of my iniquities. And I'm claiming that from this point on and my husband did the same thing. And you know, our son, you know, he's, he's beautifully flawed, but he at least has a good position to see my best even being beautifully flawed of a mother that truly wanted to be a mom and a father that wanted to be a father that He was not a mistake and we encourage and we love him. And even when he messes up, we're there to say, love you. How can we help you make this right? And that's our father in heaven. That's a representation that I needed, but I broke that. And I'm grateful that God loved me so much that he died on that cross to shed his blood, to give me the life that I have now, David. Now I'm looking forward to seeing Jesus. I'm not afraid of death anymore. used to be so afraid of death. I could not walk into a funeral home. I would freak out and because I didn't have God in me. I didn't have his Holy Spirit. I know this is not the end. We're supposed to do works here, not for rewards, but with a good heart because we want to help. I want to go talk to other alcoholics. I want to talk to women that have church hurts. I want to let them know that there are good Christian people out here. that want to love them through their mess and not kick them to the side because Jesus died for them. And that's what the church needs to look like. Amen. Now we're winding down toward the end of the podcast because we can't talk forever. That wouldn't work too well. But I always invite my guests to give us a golden nugget, something that we could take with us and mull over during the next week. Something that even if they don't remember everything we said, that nugget would stay with them and help them to kind of think about what we've talked about. What would you like to share with our listeners and viewers that would be that golden nugget for the week? The golden nugget for the week, I guess, would be surrender. Surrender something that is holding you back. You know, there's a lot of us that have addictive personalities. It may not be alcohol, it may not be cigarettes, it could be overeating that's affecting your health. It could be a bad habit of gambling or pornography. Both men and women in the church, the statistics for porn is off the charts. and it destroys relationships. enables child trafficking by the money they make. And we're all messed up people. We all have issues, but when we surrender that to Jesus, just surrender it, give it to him, ask him to fill you up with the power of the Holy Spirit and to help you be free. And that's my nugget because I got to surrender. I'm a controlling person. because I like to still self-protect but I'm more aware of it. I know, and I used to laugh, but well how do you control your controlling? The answer is by going back to the Master. Amen. And saying, here I go again. Yes. And I don't like it. I'm embarrassed, but here I am again. Amen. Help me in my unbelief to believe you are smarter than me. Amen. But ⁓ I'm grateful for your time with us. ⁓ This has been amazing. And now you have books. I do. I have Recycled Women. It's of 27 stories. It's gumbo of everybody that had different scenarios and how God delivered them and gave them a beautiful life of victory. I have a Bible study called called Derein. Derein now here on earth as kings. Not later, now. and really talks about the Bible story in full, how Jesus came to rescue us from the kingdom of darkness and how we're supposed to apply the kingdom life how we live now. I also have a book on the rapture, the smoking hot bride of Christ as series and I just wrote one on being prepared for the judgment seat, not to be afraid of it, to work with him and work with the Holy Spirit to lay all your trash down now so that when you see him, all your rewards you can just lay at his feet and that's been a real honor and you have a website rosemaryfisher.com okay and yeah those will pop up on the screen later but you know we're so grateful that you came and you know I pray that some of the people that heard heard our story today will resonate. It'll hit something. God uses the Holy Spirit to gently lead us to Him, to draw us to Him. Not a headlock, not a drag, just a gentle, loving lead. And we're going to pray that that light goes on and people can begin to at least put their toe in the water, to get started again. And he may have started before and got turned off by someone, something, some situation, but that doesn't mean God failed. It means man got in the way. So let's put man back in his place, not in charge, and invite God to be real to us. I mean real, totally real. And give him some room to work in our lives and see what he does. I've encouraged people for over 50 years. Give God six whole months. Six whole months sold out. Do what it takes to live for God. Read his Bible as a love letter like if you had a girlfriend and you're memorizing her words when she writes to you. So you don't need the paper, you know what it says. If you hid God's word in your heart that way, what would it do to your walk? And do six months of loving him with everything you've got. And then go back and evaluate. I have yet to have anybody come back anywhere in the world that I've told that to that has called me up and said, you blew it. Not one person said, you don't know what you're talking about. Not one. Because it's not my relationship. It's you and Jesus. You build your own. And He's going to meet you where you are. You don't have to give up anything to come to God other than misery. That's about the only thing you have to give up. Open up room for God to move in your heart. Get rid of some of the flea market stuff that you stored in your heart that has no use, you wonder why it's still there. Make room for the things of God and give Him a chance and watch what He does. So as we get ready to close, I'm going to pray and then after we pray, we're going to let the podcast run for a couple minutes until it's done. And we will look forward to another opportunity to talk again, Rosemary. look forward to it. Thank you for having me on David. So let's pray. Heavenly Father, we are grateful for this privilege that we have to be your kids. Whether we're good kids or rotten kids, we're still your kids. And you love us like an honest, pure, loving father would. One that has no agendas, no habits, no background. nothing generational in you but love and mercy and healing and deliverance. Lord, we're grateful that we can start a new relationship with you. If we already started it, you can enhance it. If we started and stopped, you can get us started again. If we have never discovered it, Lord, this is the moment for you to, we invite you to move in our hearts, reveal yourself to us. Let it not just be something somebody said, but let... Let those that are listening and viewing, let them experience it so that they can discover for themselves that you're real, that you really love them, and you've got great plans for their life. Bless them and bless their families and bless all that they do, and use whatever you can to draw them to you, that you might be able to love them freely and abundantly as you always plan to do. We ask all this in Jesus' name, but together we say, Amen. My closing challenge always is, seek after God because He will be found. If you want to find God, just talk to Jesus. He'll certainly point the way. So seek after God and He will be found. This has been the God Says Yes Podcast with David Ebel. To connect with David, email him at godsaysyespodcast.gmail.com. You can get his latest book, When the Doctors Say No, God Says Yes, at amazon.com.