Davis Bain

David W Ebel: Welcome to the God Says Yes Podcast. You are welcome here. Welcome to another episode of God Says Yes. My name is David Ebel, and I'm your host. After fifty plus years of ministry, the call of my heart has always been to help people to be encouraged, to to be restored, renewed, rebuilt. And that includes the people who are struggling, people who've ha who've been wounded or betrayed or or belittled, or, you know, maybe someone borrowed from and never paid them back or cheated them. Or maybe they were even at church and someone was ugly and and was not treat acting like godly and and that you ended up with church hurt. And on behalf of the body of Christ, that's not supposed to be that way. We have I apologize on behalf of all their other believers. That shouldn't happen to you. But if it did, God doesn't leave you in the ashes of your past. God wants to reach you and make sure you understand that man goofs up. God is perfect. He never ever once had i your pain in his mind as a plan. Now having said that, that doesn't mean that he he he's going to you come to Jesus and he'll be your life will be perfect. It's not going to be perfect. But he you are custom made by God to love. From the beginning, before you were even in conceived, you were already created by God. He and he planted the outside doesn't need to look the same because that's not the important half. The inside is what's important and we are We are created by God to be like Him. We're custom made one at a time. We're unique from the inside out. He created us for three things to love, to be blessed, and as a result to serve so others can find Him too. And that's what this podcast is about, is encouraging you. Don't get stuck on the side of the road and get looking at man and say, Well, they cheated me, or they this or they that. Just look at it as history. This is the history of how I got to this moment. Now let's let's learn something here and apply it so we can get past that moment and discover what God had planned for the rest of our lives. That's God's plan. And I'd love for you to have a a wonderful experience learning about how much he loves you. You get used to be in church and now you're not. Here's a chance to come back. We want you here and we're glad you're coming. So ⁓ with me today I have my my my brother and friend Davis Bain. And D Davis has got a ⁓ a remarkable story, particularly dealing with chronic pain and suffering. And ⁓ you know, I've had people say, well, if you really if God was real, he wouldn't let you suffer. Well, that's not what the Bible says. Matter of fact, he says he'll never leave you or forsake you, he'll be with you always. That means always on good days and bad, when when when you suffer and when you don't. He's always with us once we give our heart to him. He never bails on us, even particularly when it's hard. So Davis, welcome. We're glad you're here. Thank you, David, for having me. I'm very glad to be here. You will tell us a little bit about you? Absolutely. So my name's Davis Bain, originally from Minnesota. Now I'm living here in Colorado. I four and a half or three and a half, four years ago, I suffered an injury to my head that was my tenth concussion. I've always been prone to concussions, I don't know why. There's no test you can do to figure out why you always get concussions very easily. But on my tenth concussion, from a minor impact from a soccer ball that I headed in the air, I developed a concussion and it never got better. ⁓ to this day I have a debilitating level of brain fog. I get headaches and migraines very often. I feel emotionally dysregulated. I'm more prone to anxiety, to depression, to rumination, to obsessive compulsiveness. I find it difficult to trust doctors, to trust people and make friends. ⁓ my relationships with family and friends have been strained. ⁓ and ⁓ that's even, you know, just scratching the surface of the suffering that I have been through. And yet the focus of my life is not on my suffering, but on Christ who is faithful and has been there for me and helped me every step along the way. And so I seek to I seek to glorify God amidst whatever circumstances He brings in my life. Trusting that he can and will provide everything I need even if it's not what I want. So about me. Yeah. Thank you. But you know, and and I think that's important though that we that we know each other. If we're going to be having a conversation as as friends, we we we need to we need to be transparent and know each other. Yeah. ⁓ to be transparent, ⁓ I also have had a traumatic brain injury, ⁓ yeah, concussive they're a matter of s semantics. You can call it one of the things or the other, but basically the brain gets damaged by something. Mm-hmm. And it changes how you think and how you feel and how you act and how and all the other decisions you make. And that happened to me years ago. And ⁓ God has kept me through thirty five almost thirty five years of head injury and I've had to learn all over again how to trust him. I I never had a crisis of faith. I had a a crisis of me in my faith. Mm-hmm. But I really appreciate the fact that you're here transparently sharing this because I'm not the only one. And people get the feeling that when they struggle like this, they are the only one. That no one's gonna understand them, that they feel they feel weird and and ⁓ almost like they some kind of a freak. And and that's not the case. That's just you know, it's just how it is. Not everything turns out simple. But God is God gives grace, He gives comfort and strength to those who do struggle. So that we don't have to do it alone and we don't have to be in trouble with it. So we're grateful you're here. And we yeah, I have some simple questions. I'm gonna ask the first one. Who were you before Jesus? Can you tell us? Absolutely. So I accepted Christ from a very young age when I was five, and I don't think there was anything disingenuous about it. I was five, my parents told me about Jesus, they shared the gospel with me. I had been going to Sunday school. And I loved Jesus and I wanted to follow him at the age of five. And as I got older, I suppose I quietly slipped into a self kind of works reliance where I just tried to be a good son, the good Christian boy. I wanted to live up to the expectations of my parents and my friends. I wanted to behave. I wanted to stay in line. I didn't want anyone to assume anything bad about me. I wanted to protect my reputation. And when I was a teenager, about fifteen, sixteen, seventeen I began to struggle with sin and seeing my sin for what it was and walking with Christ through that, I felt this immense brokenness and I tried to hide it. I tried to run, I tried to flee. I tried to pretend I was still that good Christian boy and keep up that reputation. And as I pretended and pretended and hid everything from everyone as long as I possibly could and that sin only grew more rampant because it thrives in the darkness. I got really I I got to a pretty rough spot mentally and I cried out to God in the shower and said, God, I need help And so the next day, right after that, my friend invited me to a different youth group than the one I was going to. I went and ⁓ basically through this amazing set of not coincidental circumstances, the the ⁓ there was a guys group being announced ⁓ for specifically the kind of ⁓ you know, sin that I was struggling with at the time, ⁓ that was going to start meeting the next week. I felt extremely convicted like I should go, like it was not a coincidence. I got scared, ended up being that my best friend had the courage to go. He told me and I like, Well, I dang it, I have to do this now. And through that group of guys being radically honest and open with each other, talking about sin in a very real and matter of fact way, talking about grace, I began to see that these are not just, you know, Sunday school teachings that don't mean anything for my life. They are radical truths that can transform me and I was on fire for God ever since then. ⁓ and that was all before I ever got this concussion. So there's one more instance that I'd like to share of kind of when I reoriented towards Christ. ⁓ okay. Let me ask let me ask another question and then turn then that's will be the perfect time for that. When you met Jesus, what happened to you? ⁓ man. I I was flooded with so much joy and peace. I I I I can't even tell you. It's just this experience that you can't get anywhere else. And and I'm not Christian for the experience, don't get me wrong, I'm not. But but the peace that surpassed all understanding, no matter how much chaos was happening in my life at the time, it just flooded me. I was on fire. I wanted to share this good news with everyone. ⁓ yeah. I wanted to ⁓ I I I took radical steps in my life towards obedience of God and his commandments. I started to study scripture. It changed the way I looked at the world, the way I looked at everything happening around me, and especially the people and the suffering that was around me. It helped me to see people that were making bad decisions as children of as as people made in God's image that need love and need me to love them as my neighbor rather than draw to judgment very quickly. It it it softened my heart and helped me to be kind to other people. To realize that this rat race of expectations and ⁓ and and per public perception ⁓ is not profitable or fruitful, and that I ought to care far more about how God sees me than others see me. So those are just a few of the things, but it radically changed my life and I I I still have the same amount of love and zeal for God that I did back then. Awesome. When you you mentioned coincidence a c a couple of times back then. ⁓ let me give ⁓ I I used to carry a a wallet card for years until it finally die g it gave up the ghost, so to speak. ⁓ it said coincidence, when God moves it doesn't get credit. I think that's pretty good. I ⁓ I I used to joke sarcastically with my friends in college about all these coincidences that kept kept happening. Yeah. God is providing and and we were being ver very sarcastic, obviously knowing in the back of our minds that it is God's blessing and provision and a gift from him that he kept providing all these things. Well, yeah, we the old tongue in cheek thing where you where you you're saying, ⁓ that's it must be a coincidence. ⁓ Well, you know, and and there's there's nothing wrong with Christians don't have to be miserable and sour and and straight and f and and and sober all the time. They j because there's joy in living for the God. Yeah. i when I g gave my life to Christ it was such a profound difference. I didn't have to worry about cutting out friends. My friends cut out on me. They I I had to start new friends right away because everybody saw me change and it was such a profound change. They didn't want nothing to do with it 'cause they wanted to party. They wanted to do all the stuff I used to do. And that they saw me change and they went, ⁓ I'm done. Don't even call me. And so God ha gave me I didn't have the strength to probably tell them to go away. So God arranged, guided the situation and protected me from myself and they all left. And for every one I lost, I got two or three really good godly friends who didn't want me to be like them. They just want to be be like him. Mm-hmm. And ⁓ and it worked. I I'm I'm clearly not who I was before. I mean profoundly different than who I was when I started. And and c you know, ⁓ but I still love to laugh and I still love joy. Absolutely. No, ⁓ this is where now that you've c you you've you've you've changed, this is about telling your story of what happens next. And that's where you talk about this the accidents and the struggle and all these things, so we can identify with what it feels like so that when somebody else was in a car accident or somebody else fell down a flight of stairs, or whatever their crisis was, how do we get up? How do we go forward from this? Yeah, how do you keep walking forward when nothing is the same and everything feels like it's taken away from you overnight? Especially with health issues where it's easier to feel like a prisoner in my own body. How does one how does one even respond? How does one ⁓ deal with that? How does one take the right steps in the right direction when everything feels so unstable and everything just feels overwhelming? Yeah. That's that's a question I've wrestled with a lot. Uhhuh. And it I can't just give one single answer, but I can talk about some things that I've learned throughout the time that I've ⁓ been wrestling with post concussion syndrome or or been given that opportunity. Well this is this is your shot. Go for it, brother. All right. Well initially my response was to deny and to run away as far and as fast as possible from what I was going through. I was going to get back by any means necessary every bit of health that I had lost and become ⁓ an even better version of myself because I had been tested by these trials that I thought were going to be short term and let up quickly. So a little bit of context to me is that I was in the Air Force ROTC program. I was trying to ⁓ join the Air Force as an officer. I actually had a slot in the Space Force, ⁓ which they had just started when I was in the program. I had worked very hard for three years up to college to prepare myself and then four years in college to ⁓ develop and train and be the best cadet and future officer that I could be. I was engaged. I was excited. I saw a leadership position in the military as a chance to actually bless other people. I was excited to ⁓ you know, work with the chaplains and do Bible studies in the unit and all sorts of things like that. I saw the ministry potential. I saw the ability that I had to bless the people I was leading and I was excited. I was also a mechanical engineering student working towards a technical degree and in my free time I spent a lot of time in my campus ministry, sharing the gospel, leading Bible studies, and trying to minister to guys who were struggling. And all of this kind of fast paced high octane lifestyle, which I was very much ⁓ excited about, fulfilled by, engaged in, and ready to keep going at a hundred miles an hour, came to a crashing halt. And so initially I was in denial. I was going to find a way to commission. I was going to fix all my health issues. I was going to ⁓ run away from from what I was going through and I was going to get back everything I had lost. And I think this was the first part of the stage of grief, which is denial. I was denying the fact that I was really seriously injured. I was denying the fact that this could be a long term chronic years long condition or potentially the rest of my life. I was denying ⁓ any sort of implications like that and running as far and as fast away as possible, seeking anything to distract me. So essentially I was idolizing distractions, I was idolizing my self desires and running away. Uh-huh. And I worked at this engineering firm for six months where I was doing solar, like utility scale solar designs. And I remember when I first got the concussion, I felt dumb. Like I just felt stupid. I've never felt that in my life before. I've never felt very slow in the mind. And I wanted to prove that I still had the intelligence, that I still had the knack, that my brains were still there. Because that was I think so much of my identity was my mental ability. And so I took this engineering job and used it as kind of proof in my head that I still had it, that I was still smart, that I was still mentally capable, that I wasn't slow, that I wasn't disabled. And I worked very hard at that job. It was not sustainable from day one. It was making all of my symptoms worse. I I remember having migraines so bad that I would come home every day and have a migraine so bad every single day that I kinda grew numb it. I just stopped noticing it because I like couldn't think, I couldn't function. I would come home and like barely be able to r heat up some dinner and eat it. And then I'd go and I'd sit on the couch and I'd kinda be a vegetable and I'd I just I was running away from this acceptance of of the sick of the circumstances that were brought into my life. And I was hurting. And after about four months of working that job, I remember I I I think I was coping with food in a bad way too, where I would overeat really greasy, sugary, fatty foods that that were putting out weight. So I think at that job I gained like fifty pounds in the matter of six months. So I I was not doing well the entire time. I was I was in denial, I was putting up a front in front of everyone, and at about four months into that job I remember the first suicidal ideation came. And I remember just wanting to not be alive because I felt like the suffering was so great. And as the next two months went on, it went from every week I would have one to every three days I would have one to every day to multiple times a day I would have these vivid suicidal ideations, these these kind of daydreams of of d various ways to end my life. And I wanted it. It was the greatest temptation I think I've ever faced. you know, stronger than any sort of sexual desire or food craving. As a man that's saying something. I I I just I remember hiding it from everyone. again, I'm still running from and in denial of of any sort of injury that I was facing. ⁓ any any sort of all these bad circumstances. I I wanted to get back what I had lost because I had this career. I had all these things that I was excited about that I was pursuing. And all of a sudden it was gone and I was trying to desperately claw my way back and not willing to humbly accept the circumstances that were in front of me. And so essentially at at the six month mark, this ideations were so bad I felt I couldn't trust myself. And it was one night where I knew that if I didn't do something right then and there that I would try something that night. And so I I I think it was the Lord who who prompted this. I I I don't remember any motivation to do this. It just kinda happened where ⁓ I pulled out my phone, I texted twenty of my friends, the same message I copy pasted, and I just said something along the lines of I'm really struggling. I don't feel I can trust myself and I'm in a really rough spot and I need help. And immediately one of my friends comes downstairs ⁓ he was living with me at the time and I was sitting in the basement just on the couch and he comes downstairs. He heard that I was struggling, he wanted to pray for me. And so he prays for me. Very simple prayer, something along the lines of God I ask that you would ⁓ take away any sort of dark influences over Davis, protect him in Jesus' name and help him. And immediately it felt like all suicidal ideations were lifted and I didn't feel that again for the next couple of months. Amen. And not only that, but I I felt like my eyes were opened and whatever cloud was over my eyes that I need to put I need to pursue all the things I had lost. I need to get back everything that I, you know, didn't have anymore. I needed to put up this front that I was this healthy person. I felt like all of that that that veil that was covering my eyes was removed and I could see it clearly. I could see how harmful this job was for me. I could see how unhealthy this pattern of running myself into the ground was. I could see how much I n was hurting and genuinely needed help. And I could see that the ways I had been not consciously but subconsciously running away from God and choosing my own way, ⁓ was hurting me. And so I very quickly quit that job, took some time to rest, ⁓ went to a silent retreat center, ⁓ which was such a beautiful and powerful experience of just time with God with no distractions. And ⁓ I think that's one of the more profound times that God has quite literally saved my life. Not only in the spiritual sense, because he has definitely done that. ⁓ I I I thank the Lord every day. But but also in the very practical sense that I probably would have taken my life that night. Yeah. And God completely took that desire away and and brought me peace that I still don't understand. You know, when you're doing when you're talking, my eyes are just I'm ready to cry. I can identify with this so much. If you see me rub my eyes, it's it's it's i I can I'm there. I understand. I I remember living through almost the same thoughts. So I can I I am grateful you're here to tell us this. Keep going. Yeah. And what what followed after that was ⁓ I mean it w it was truly a restorative time of walking with the Lord, getting back into scripture, ⁓ t taking Taking real care of my body and not running it into the ground like I was every single day. acknowledging that I had serious limitations, that I had to take take them seriously and ⁓ hi and and accepting with with humility the circumstances God had brought in into my life. ⁓ it was a it was a beautiful time of ⁓ honesty with my family. I I felt very convicted about hiding how I was doing from my loved ones because They wanted to help, they knew I was struggling, but they had no idea how 'cause I was not letting them. I was closing the door. I was pretending that I was perfectly fine. And they knew that wasn't true, they could tell. But and and they also had no idea quite how bad I was. Yeah. And so I was suffering alone by my own choice. And I was like, Well, I have no excuse for that. That just needs to change. Yeah. So I I remembered having some serious conversations with my friends and family that that was hard for them and ⁓ to some of them hurtful to to hear how how rough of a condition I was. But at the same time it was necessary to be honest, to confess what I was going through and where I was and how bad I was and the and the sins that I had been using to cope. ⁓ and it it allowed my friends and family to be there to love me, to show the love of Christ to me, ⁓ to meet me where I was at. And it drastically took away from the isolation of what I was doing. I remember for a while my little brother would call me on the phone very often. The first thing he would say or at some point in the conversation, he would always say, How are you doing with suicidality? How are you doing with the suicidal thoughts? And I can't imagine that was easy for him to do, but he loved me so much that he cared to walk through the uncomfort of that question every single time we talked. And that just showed me how amazingly loved I am by him. But any time we receive love from somebody else, it is a point is a big arrow towards God's love who is in that person, who is flowing through that person into us. So I I am so grateful for God's love every single day. And I'm so grateful that he saved me from myself in that sense and slowly restored me over the next few months. ⁓ now I should state that my health did not get any better really. ⁓ I I wasn't making it worse every day. So it's not like my symptoms were on the steady decline like I was at. Symptoms were still really bad and I was still suffering every day. Even if I wasn't working, it was still really hard to get through every day. Yeah. But I began to learn to accept what the Lord had brought into my life and seek him for help amidst my circumstances instead of running away. Well, he never leaves us. So reg regardless of where you are in in in that downward or upward slope, ⁓ he's with you. You're not ab you're not even though you feel alone, the enemy of God would gladly make you feel alone and get your eyes off of the cross and onto anything else. He's there. Matter of fact, t at least for me, he's there more when I'm having a really bad day than he is when I'm having a really good day. Because I need him more. And, you know, I live in I live in a world with people. I'm you know, I've been married a long time and My wife doesn't deserve my kids when it when it first my injury happened. My kids were young and they certainly didn't deserve who I was for a while. I was pretty angry and grumpy and ⁓ totally impatient and I didn't I didn't I didn't want to be around people, but yet I was ministering and had to be around people. So by the time I gave up everything I could fake and and and cover my pain at at work, if you will, I would come home. And all that was left was the empty box it came in. And my poor kids and my wife had to endure that. And through the years, my kids are like, well, that's just dad. They they they figured it out. And my wife has been a godsend. She's been so patient. But I you know, I'm better, but it's a degree thing. It's not like a light switch. I'm incrementally a little better every every so often. I can I can say, ⁓ wow, I can do that now. But I you know, it it's taken years for me to get to the to the ⁓ wow. But God never stopped. And he still gave me chances along the way to share share his love, to shine. Even in my struggle, people watched me and I had people walk up and say, you know, I'm a I'm a Christian because if God can help you through everything else, I want some of that. And I didn't think I was preaching with my life. I thought I was surviving with my life. But yet, you know, w we're never alone. God is always with us and our life is consistent and always. And that's so important. It's so valuable. And I'm grateful you're here to continue continue talk telling us what what you else you up what else you want us to know. So we know that God is faithful. We can see it in the old testament and the new testament that He has steadfast love and that was demonstrated All throughout the scripture. I mean you think about Jonah when he ⁓ is instructed to go to Nineveh, doesn't go, get swallowed by the whale, ends up going to Nineveh, preaching their destruction, kind of he has this like zealous attitude towards their destruction from God. He's like ready to see this sinful city ⁓ be punished by God. And then he preaches about their destruction and the judgment that is coming, they repent and God decides to have mercy upon them. Nineveh. We see and and Jonah's like upset about it. He's like, Wait, what? You told me to come here and preach their destruction? And I I I'm I'm ready to see some justice reign, man. And then God has mercy because God draws new to the brokenhearted, because God is faithful, because God is stead God has steadfast love and mercy. And he is the sovereign Lord who is capable of anything and is perfectly just and also steadfast love. And there are there are mercies anew every morning and that he is faithful to his promises. So if he says something in scripture, like he will never leave us or forsake us, that is a promise that we can take to the bank. I I think at least for for for me and ⁓ most of my generation of young adults, ⁓ we're looking for things to grasp onto, things to h hold as true. I it it feels like you can't believe anything in the world anymore, that that that there is no objective truth, and that's kind of true. Without Christ there isn't an objective truth. But in God's word and in God's promises we can hold those as objective truth that He will provide. God says that er I think Jesus instructed that ⁓ even that even above all of Solomon's riches and beauty and glory he he dresses the lilies of the field and and Solomon does not compare. ⁓ there are birds that gather in the barns and they they don't work at all. But God still takes care of them and provides for them. How much more will He take care of us, His precious children? Exactly. Even amidst the worst possible circumstances that I could be in. ⁓ let's say today with the worst symptoms I've ever experienced, a absolutely debilitating migraine, brain fog, depression, anxiety, ⁓ pain in my neck and all around my back, just an angst about myself that like makes my skin crawl and it's like hard to even function and go get food. ⁓ e even amidst the worst possible circumstances where I'm on vacation with my family and it's hot and it's sunny and all my symptoms are terrible and I have to pretend that I'm fine because my family's on vacation, even though I'm miserable and I just want to go home and I'm sick and tired of being in this place where I feel trapped. Even in even in the worst of my suicidal ideations, God is faithful. And he will provide what I need. And if I want immediate healing in that moment, he can provide it. But that doesn't mean he will. He will provide what I need in that moment. He will provide the peace, the hope, the love and the encouragement and the joy that I need to bear that suffering for that day. And I pray all the time that he would heal me and take away my suffering. And I pray that for others too. There's nothing wrong with asking God for good gifts. ⁓ 'cause healing is a great gift. ⁓ but even when we don't get that, even when we don't provide that, that doesn't mean that God is not faithful, that doesn't mean God doesn't love us. That simply means ⁓ it's his will for us to continue in this and he will provide what we need, which oftentimes I have felt that I don't have what I need, even though that either isn't true or I just need to ask God to provide for what I need. Of course. Well, God does answer all prayers. Sometimes it's yes, sometimes it's no, and sometimes it's wait. Because he knows he's got better things planned. But the right answer for right now is just no, not right now. Not right now. That doesn't mean he didn't answer. But it's like a it's like a thr a four year old. You they say, I want, I want, I want, and you're thinking they got a birthday coming up, but I want it now. The f the par the godly parent has already got your what he can do for you planned and can't wait to bless you beyond anything you can imagine. We just have to be able to trust him for what we don't see, feel, hear and and so forth, now knowing that b by faith we trust all those things and that he will provide all those things in in the right time. But it'll mean the most when it happens. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. And I think for me ⁓ I thought there was a while where I was very influenced by certain theologies that were basically saying that God definitely did want to heal me right now. And and there was no question in their minds, there was no there was not even a a little bit of nuance there. It was God wants to heal you. This suffering is demonic and you need to be healed right now. God wants to do it, let's do it. And they would pray for me and I wouldn't be healed. And I really struggled with that for so long because I felt like because I was suffering so deeply, because I wasn't being healed when I would ask, ⁓ that either God wasn't real or he didn't love me. ⁓ or or I had done something to betray him in some way I didn't even know. Like I had committed some unpardonable sin and I was cursed. It's kind of the the three different camps that I was thinking at the time. And In hindsight I look back and I feel so much pity over over the fact that I believed it. ⁓ but but too, I I look at scripture and I see Jesus' words, ⁓ in this world you will have suffering, but take heart for I have overcome the world. And I read passages about God's faithfulness that He will provide everything we need in times of need. He is an ever present help in times of trouble. ⁓ consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds, for the testing of your faith produces perseverance. I wasn't seeing any of the good that could possibly come from suffering and I was impatient with it and influenced by, you know, other people and their theology, ⁓ that I was thinking God must not be real or he doesn't love me or I'm cursed ⁓ because I'm not being healed. And that was me putting an ultimatum on on the sovereign lord that I had no right to do. Yeah, I've had I've been prayed for by everybody from people that are almost homeless to people with s sequence on and And all the fancy things. I've been anointed with every kind of oil but ten W forty. ⁓ you know, and and and told that I didn't have enough faith and that's why I wasn't healed. There's no scripture for that. Yep. That's that is how the Bible talks in the end times that there's gonna be false prophets. And they're they're not if you don't take truth, no one's gonna believe the lie. You take it now you take a truth and then you code it with a lie, and people buy the lie with the truth. And unfortunately, that's some of the teaching that's out there right now. If God wants you healed, he doesn't need an oil, he doesn't need ⁓ sequence, he doesn't need a TV camera. He just needs to for it to be done. When it's his time, he will do it. I I've had the privilege of praying for people who were blind and them see. I prayed for someone and they went from deaf to hearing. How often? Not of not very often. But when it was a divine appointment between his faith and God, in spite of me it happened. And when g when and if God chooses to change how your body is functioning, he will. He's the great physician. Or or it's for all kinds of healing physical, spiritual, emotional. He he can do in us everything he wants. He didn't put us in these spots. He didn't allow he didn't cause the injury. But he meets us in the injury and he begins the plan of taking us from injured to f to thriving in spite of the injury. Mm-hmm. And that's basically what you're living and what I'm living. Mm-hmm. I have felt the most alive, joyful, at peace, close to God. on some of the worst days of pain. For a while I didn't think that'd be possible. And I was suffering and feeling so isolated because I felt like God had abandoned me or or whatever sort of conclusions I had come to at that time. Yeah. And then it none of my circumstances changed and it was only God meeting me and opening my eyes and blessing my reading of scripture so that I could understand these words and understand what he was saying 'cause the Bible says we need God to reveal it, to open our eyes to give us hearts of flesh instead of hearts of stone. And so in the Holy Spirit opening my eyes to see and read and understand these amazing truths that we have and in the Word of God, i it was a transformative and beautiful process of growing a genuine and real, grounded faith that was a steady amid suffering. And that's nothing to say that that that was me that did that. It was the Lord in me that that transformed my life to to the point where I was walking with him closely, not giving into sin, ⁓ in in in probably the best way that I had done even before my injury, you know, was was complacent on sin for a while. But it it just like the amount of fruit that came out of walking with God in in a genuine, humble, ⁓ scripture centered way, ⁓ in solid community that was not telling me lies or being false prophets or Any of those kind of very over the top ⁓ camps of theology that can be very dangerous. ⁓ it there was so much fruit in my life I I could write five books on it. Well, you've you've done you've shared a lot. ⁓ last question. I'm gonna I a after the question I have a we're gonna ask you for a golden nugget, something people can take with them. But the last question is now our viewers are sitting here and they've I ⁓ they understand you. What hope can they have to move from where they are to a great to a better thriving life? Your opinion? Yeah. My opinion is that the ultimate hope is the kingdom of heaven. Not only the in the eternal sense where we spend eternity with God, ⁓ but also in the right now, right here and now sense, where the kingdom of God and and the kingdom of heaven have come and I would say to anyone that does not know Jesus, is not walking with Jesus, does does not have any sort of faith, ⁓ might be mad at God, might be ⁓ just unknowing about God. I I just want to say that that God loves you. He knows the amount of hairs on your head, he and he knows every bit of suffering you've ever experienced. ⁓ not only that, but he knows every wrong thing you have done, he knows every sin that you've committed, and he still loves you and yearns for you and is a jealous God for you. Meaning that he wants to know you, to walk with you, to bless you, to take care of you, to provide for you, to shower you in his steadfast love and to welcome you into the kingdom as his child. Amen. That is the hope that carries me through every day. ⁓ this this eternal hope in a God that ⁓ is faithful, is sovereign, which means he is ⁓ over everything and in full control, ⁓ is is ⁓ more powerful than I could ever imagine and yet upholds justice. I think people think about the justice of God in kind of a twisted way where ⁓ God's looking at me and remembering all my sins and he's gonna get me for it. ⁓ but in Christ we have a substitution where he instead looked looked upon Jesus and punished him and not us. So we have clear consciences and justification before God. And I I think As I think about that and have reflected on that and continue to grow in my faith amidst the suffering, I consider I consider the grace of God in the sacrifice of Christ Jesus, in in the the crucifixion, death and resurrection of Jesus, I consider that a far greater blessing in my life than healing would ever be. And so therefore I I would love to be healed, but I don't yearn for it as the penultimate goal like I used to. That that would be a tremendous gift from God, but I have already been blessed beyond all understandings of the word blessing, David, ⁓ by God. He has already forgiven me a multitude of sins and taken care of me and provided for me. He is faithful. He will be there for me through thick and thin every single day of my life up to eternity. And he is the Lord who ⁓ watches over me, protects me, and takes care of me. And so I I consider the the the blessing of the grace I have in Christ Jesus, which is ⁓ defined as undue favor, the undue favor that I did not earn or deserve that God has given me by s substituting the punishment of his own son for my own, a far greater blessing than healing would ever be. So I have an immense humility around healing, that it would be a tremendous gift for me to regain, you know, function of perfect function of my brain and ability to work and all these things that I've that I've lost. ⁓ but I it's a far greater blessing that God has forgiven me and restored me and welcomed me into his kingdom. Well, I agree. I think one of the things that people get mist mistake, and it's I think we've learned it kind of by being around other chur other churches and and other people is that ministry is I do this, I do this, I do this, I do this, I do this. But actually ministry is worship and praise and obedience and love. This is ministry. And no matter if you're flat on your back or you're in a wheelchair or you're walking around or you're holding your head in pain, this doesn't stop. The reflection of that love as it full becomes full is service. And that's for preaching, teaching, witnessing, loving, encouraging, restoring, rebuilding, renewing, all that. Those are reflections of the love of God. But first you have to have it. And so sometimes the reason why we get wounded so bad is these the God is like a fire hose pouring this blessing down in what we're expecting is a soistra. And we don't we limit how much God blesses us. And when things get hard, we don't have all the resources He'd love to give us because we have limited it because we were taught that. It wasn't intentional, it wasn't ⁓ a heresy, it was just we learned what we learned. So this is a good chance to learn that God's God's plan for us is bigger. It's wider. It's unrestricted. And whether whether you ever you ever go back to what you used to do or not is not questionable. Those those are job descriptions. What matters is w what you can do for him by worshiping him and trusting him and praising him and and being faithful to him so that he that opens the door wise so he can just keep pouring his love into you and his healing and his grace and his mercy. And that's how it is for all of us. That's how it is for me. There are days that I can't I can read a book out loud to you and and you can hear it, but none of it goes in. Not one word goes in, it just goes right past me. And I look like I'm just fine. But I'm not. And I mean I've done I've done this long enough that I'll walk and hand it to my wife and say, Tell me what that says. And she'll tell me and and then I get it 'cause the words work. It's just it won't go in. Then later in the day my brain will go click and now it works. But I have no control over all these pieces of my life. Because they're I have short circuits in certain spots, and they just are. And I got tired of being frustrated over them. I got tired of feeling bad or guilty or depressed over them. Because they're not my fault. And God did not call me to be perfect. He called me to come as I was daily, not just come as I was when I got saved. So you I bring broken me, and broken me is plenty enough. He's not looking for perfect me. If he pr if I'm already perfect, I don't need a savior. And you and I have figured this out. And I hope and I pray for those that are viewing and that are those that are listening, they'll get it too, because it's it it it's just we want them to have the abundance of all that God's got for Now for the golden nugget, my brother. The pe the piece that you want to give us that we'll we'll mull over in the next week or so. Can I ⁓ take two seconds to pull up a passage from scripture? Yeah, absolutely. Awesome. Thank you. Okay, I can't find it, so I'm gonna paraphrase it. Just do what you know. Yep. So in Second Corinthians, I believe it's second Corinthians, Paul is pleading with God to take away the thorn of his flesh. Now we don't know what this thorn was. It could have been some sort of literal ⁓ you know painful spot on his body, ⁓ but I like to think it's some sort of chronic condition, something that's very annoying that sticks with him every single day. And Paul pleads three times. And so we ⁓ should not feel shy to plead with God for the removal of suffering in our lives. ⁓ but we cannot assume that ⁓ that we're guaranteed that. It it's the Lord's decision, it's the Lord's will. And so Paul pleads three times. He says, God, please take this away. And God doesn't. And God's reply to Paul, ⁓ the Apostle Paul, is that ⁓ My grace is sufficient for you, which is saying that essentially that you know, God's undue favor for Paul ⁓ and the blessings that he has given Paul ⁓ beyond what Paul deserves are sufficient for him, and that you know, he will continue to bless and provide for Paul, ⁓ for everything he needs. My grace is sufficient for you, and my power is made perfect in weakness. Amen. And I had heard that verse before I ever suffered this concussion and actually went through, you know, daily suffering and ⁓ but but for the longest time, you know, probably a good year and a half, two years, I I disqualified myself from any sort of ministry activity or any sort of ⁓ blessing other people, serving others, doing these things that were called to ⁓ by God, and I disqualified myself because I wasn't I didn't have the health that I used to have. I couldn't go to a big, you know, young adult church gathering. I couldn't join a small group that had a lot of people 'cause it was too loud and overstimulating. I I c I couldn't go to the same type of big worship services with the loud lice and the smoke machines and the loud music and ⁓ the the strobe lights and everything that I had done before. And I felt that my health limitations took away my potential to do ministry, to really care for other people. And for a while there there was, you know, maybe some merit to that where I was actually in a really rough spot mentally. And caring only about myself. And so maybe I did need to climb out of that a little bit in order to, you know, properly minister to other people. But what I'm trying to say is that I was disqualifying myself because I was experiencing weakness. And God's word instructs us that that is the situation and the qualifier for God's perfect power to work. And so my encouragement to anyone out there, the golden nugget, if you will, would be that there is no situation by which God cannot work. cannot use you for his glory and his purposes, cannot bless others through you, ⁓ and and God's power cannot ⁓ be made manifest and work through you, even if you don't get the healing that you so desperately want. Amen. And ⁓ all of us need to be grateful that we have a relationship because that opens the door for everything else. Well I had peop someone ask me not that long ago, don't you want to go back to the way you were before? I can't imagine going back to the way I was before. What has happened to me since I met Jesus is so profound and so amazing even with my pain, even with my struggling, that to go back would be like just I might as well pick go back to the gun and shoot myself. Because there I didn't ha I didn't even start really living and thriving until I met Jesus. I experienced ex ex existence. Now I'm experiencing life. And it abundantly. And that's what we what why why we do this podcast is we want people to be blessed. You want them to experience life. Now it may come in baby steps. It may come in millimeters at starts, but forward is forward, and steps are steps. And if we trust by faith, that measure that says, I don't have to see it, I don't have to feel it, I don't have to smell it, I don't have to touch it, I'm gonna take God at his word and trust it. That's the beginning of the rest of your life. And that's what we want for all of you. We want every single one of you to know that God has a plan for your life. God custom made us for his love. And that's what it's all about. So we're going to pray. And then I'll have a a quick closing. And I pray that you'll take not only this and and you'll watch it, but that you'll share it with others who are struggling. Because we do this so that people don't feel alone and that they can have hope. Now, Davis, you've got some books to talk about a book or yes. You got a you got a few a couple of minutes here. Tell talk about your book and your in your website. Absolutely. So I amidst all of the struggles, I wanted to create a resource that practically encouraged people and helped people that were str struggling and suffering. And so I felt I more stumbled into a book rather than set out to write it. I have never had aspirations to be a writer, to write a book, anything like that. But I I I felt that God presented a circumstance in my life ⁓ where I almost didn't really have a choice. ⁓ after one of the hardest days of my life when I ⁓ felt like I was backed into a corner financially and felt I had nowhere to go, nothing to do, I worked a landscaping job. And if I haven't already made it clear, landscaping on a hot summer, humid day it is not compatible with chronic health issues, let alone post concussion syndrome. And so being in direct sunlight's a trigger, the heat was a trigger, physical labor a trigger. all triggers for my symptoms. ⁓ and I worked, you know, one day at a landscaping site for about six hours and by the end of it I could hardly recognize myself, didn't feel like myself. I felt almost drunk because of how much I was out of it. And I remember just like driving home with an empty stare in my eyes and my mouth just kinda locked open. Like I was just I felt dead. I didn't feel like myself. So essentially the next day I felt led to document that day and write a book to try and help people because the suffering was so bad that I ⁓ just eliminated any eliminated any unqualifications that I had to write a book. You know, I'm young, I'm not an expert, I don't have advanced degrees, I'm not a professor, I I'm not a scientist, I don't I I can't give the ten tips, you know, for optimal health. Like I I I felt so unqualified, but basically God showed me through suffering that I could provide a real service. So I sat down the next day, wrote the first chapter of Chronic Pain Warrior, which is right here. And ⁓ that chapter just documents that day. The subsequent chapters are the rest of my story from a bird's eye view, a little bit of advice that I'd give to friends and family who are trying to support someone with chronic condition, just things that I've learned that ⁓ you know, here here are some ways to really help this person, here are some things to avoid that would be hurtful for this person. And then in the last part, I discuss ⁓ Some sensitive issues like money and mental health, just some things that are difficult to talk about but need to be talked about. And then my last chapter is my favorite chapter of the book. It's all about faith. And so it's kind of a biblical exposition of suffering. And so what does the Bible have to say about suffering? It's not comprehensive in the slightest, but they were all it it's a collection of passages that changed my life and reminded me of the amazing truths of our God ⁓ and and were kind of cornerstone scriptures in my life ⁓ through the worst of days. So it's a lot of, you know, Job Lamentations Psalms. ⁓ it's New Testament. But ⁓ that's the book and I created it and and my ultimate hope is to just that it helps anyone who reads it, anyone feeling alone. ⁓ you know, yeah. How do we get that book? Absolutely. So it's available on Amazon. It's available on ⁓ you know it A bunch of different places you can buy books. The ebook is available anywhere. ⁓ but I do have a website that would be a landing page, so you can contact me via that page. You can find links to buy the book via that page. And there's some additional resources in there as well. The website is www.chronicpainwarrior.com. Say that slower, please. Chronic Pain Warrior dot com. Good. I if someone's trying to write it down, I want them to have the time to get all those letters down. That's good. It's important. And Folks, I you know, I'm I s totally support it and I I plan to get and read that book. I really do. So it now it's time for me to pray. And so join us in prayer. Heavenly Father, we are grateful for the privilege we have to to know that you love us, that you created us to love, you've always loved us. We can't even do anything to to shut off that love. That you have you have plans for us to bless us, to do good in spite of our situations. Lord, we pray that you'll touch each of the people who are suffering, no matter how they're suffering, meet them where they are. If they're struggling, meet them where they are. If they're in doubt, meet them where they are and give them encouragement. Give them hope. ⁓ this is a podcast of encouragement because we know that God is b ab able and he's bigger and stronger and more powerful than any situation we struggle with ourselves. Lord, bless them. And and Lord, please bless Davis particularly and anoint him. with your Holy Spirit and do mighty things through him so that people can see through his faithfulness how powerful our God is. Lord, let let his sermon of his life be louder than anything he says. Meet his needs and then through that meet the needs of others. Lord we pray for everyone that's that's viewing this podcast that that somehow something beautiful will happen in their lives and that you would get the glory as our lives are changed. And in the pot process we would impact others so that their lives would be changed too. We ask all these things in Jesus' name. And together we say Amen. Amen. Now the challenge is seek after God. He will be found. You want to know him better? Seek Jesus. He is the way to God. And he can't wait to bless your life. So seek after God. He is seeking after you. This has been the God Says Yes podcast with David Evil. Connect with David, email him at Godsays Yes Podcast. You can get his latest book, When the Doctors Say No, God Says Yes, at Amazon.com.