Rory Paquette
David talks with Rory Paquette about Rory's struggles with anger and how a serious health issue brought him to accept God in his life, let go of his anger, and strengthened his relationship with his family
David W Ebel: Welcome to the God Says Yes podcast. You are welcome here. Hello and welcome to another episode of God Says Yes. My name is David Ebel, I'm your host, and â after fifty plus years of ministry all over the world, â we are here today reaching those who are struggling. Well, we've all struggled at some point, but some of us have gotten really beat beaten up by life. We've been either be betrayed or belittled, â cheated, promised and then f failed. People, you know, whatever reason we got wounded, we are wounded. Whether it's church or some and on behalf of the body of Christ, I am sorry if somebody acted out in church and and hurt you because that's not God's plan. There's no scripture that says, Come to church so we can beat on you. That's not in the word. But when when you the church is the emergency room with the body of Christ. So not everybody who comes to the emergency room is happy about it. Some of them are kicking and screaming. They're miserable. And when they come to church to find hope, they're still kicking and screaming. So some of that ugly sometimes splashes off. onto the the innocent ones who are there trying to worship with him. And on so that's it that's not God. That's people. And so we're hoping that you'll we can get our eyes off of people and try to give God a shot. You know, he he's he's the innocent one. He's the one who created us to love. He's the one who's always loved us. We are in we're like him on the inside out. We don't have to look like each other. But as God moves in our life, we become more like him every day. So we end up looking like him from the inside out. And that's what we want for you. So â we're glad you're here. We're excited that you're here. And I have one â one of my friends with me today. â this is Rory Piquette, and Rory is an exciting guy. He's done more with his life as as far as â doing things and affecting people than â many others do. This guy does six podcasts. one is my p is my measure, but â he does them and does them well and effectively. And I met Rory as he interviewed me for one of his interviews. Well like you said, â I'm â we had a wonderful I want you to meet my friend. A father. So â Rory, welcome. I do have six podcasts, so I'm a podcaster for sure. I do that for a living. Tell us about yourself, please. I â I'm a speaker and â I'm a coach. â I'm an author of a couple of books. â you know, and more than than all of that, like I said, is â you know, today I'm proud to say is my faith. It was not always so. But â it is today, it is now, and â you know, I I'm I'm living proof, man, that â that it's never too late to wake up and get out of your own way and and you know, ask ask God for forgiveness. And it's funny when you open up your your fist and you let a little light in there, â how Jesus can find his way in. But â you know, it kind of starts there. A Amen. You know, he he's been waiting, he's he's had had everything ready to shine that light. And as soon as we we are finally willing to open the door, he gently comes in. He's a gentleman. He comes in gently and and begins to rebuild us one inch at a time. He's it's not about giving things up, it's about g Getting things new. Yeah, that â that's a question. He does a wonderful job with that. Before Jesus, you know, I I have a a point in my life where I finally let him in. I was we have some simple questions. But the first one is who were you before Jesus? I had a really rough upbringing, â which I know you know all about, you know, type of stuff. The â you know, the abuse, â you know, a father who was an alcoholic â who, you know, kinda liked to just beat on the family. â grew up through that. â also grew up in a very Catholic household. And so, you know, I had my parents, my mother taught â C C D, you know, Saturday mornings. â and so I'm going to Bible school Saturday mornings and then I'm going to â church on Sundays, and you know, my dad is the head of every committee committee in church, and you know, then at home I'm getting, you know, beaten to a pulp for, you know, nothing and watching that kind of evil play out. And so very early on I got very angry with God. Because I'm I'm learning about this, you know, all powerful being going, you know, what did I ever do? Why why me? Why this? Why now? This doesn't make any sense. And â so early, early, I want to say maybe four or five years old, I'm learning to step in and say, you know what, you're not gonna help us, I'm gonna do it myself. And that's how you feel, you know, inside when you are letting anger take over. â you know, to the point where you're You're making sure that you tick off your father before anybody else can, so that he doesn't beat on your mom or your little brother, you know. â I learned very early to sacrifice myself to â to take the beating so that the other people in my family didn't have to. â all of that, you know, to make a a long story a little shorter, you know, kind of carried over into â the rest of my life. I lived a life where I was very willing to sacrifice, gave up my own health without even thinking twice. â you know, if I had four people at the table and there was three pieces of chicken, I'm the one who goes hungry. Very, very simple stuff. â brought kids into this world with a lot of â fear and trepidation about â not making the mistakes that my father made, not letting that evil get into me and then get into them. And so I spent a lot of time monitoring myself, double checking myself, making sure that I was never passing any of that on. went decades without ever having a drink, even though I never had any kind of a problem like that. Yes. I was never gonna open the door to that coming in because I saw what happened with my dad. â that led to a a lot of â you know, strife. It led to a lot of I'm gonna prove everybody wrong kind of mentality. And in the society that, you know, you grow up in, â with hustle culture and everything else, that looks pretty good on paper, brother. You know, because you're accomplishing things. And, you know, you're getting some work done. And, you know, you're getting plaques to put on the wall and you're selling all kinds of stuff. And you know, but inside, you're doing it because you're angry and because you're trying to prove your father wrong and you're trying to prove to the world that you're not gonna be like him. â so before before I let Jesus into my life. I was exhausted from that. I was angry about that. And â in in many ways I was I was lost â because of that. But you know I guess I I think hope that answers the question. That's kind of who I was at that point. â he tried to meet me â once. â I ha I worked very hard, â built lots of sales, built a real estate company that was huge. How did you meet him in Five offices, two states the whole time. How did that affect you? And when we got hit with the recession back in two thousand eight, â lost everything. And I mean everything, down to the brass tax. I reached a point then where I was very, very angry with God and didn't quite realize. how angry I was, â blaming him, you know, for abandoning me in my life. â and I didn't even realize that at the time. But I hit a really low point then and â actually decided that I I wasn't going to be around anymore. And came very, very close to making that happen. â he prevented that from happening. And it was â it was a very tough thing to go through. â but when I came out of that, I had an inkling that maybe God had spared my life and and set me back on track and give me a second chance. But it didn't last. My anger was too strong. And I said, you know, I I don't think it was him. No, once again I had to do this myself. And I set back out to rebuild. Now I did. And I know that now looking back that it was You know, God that did that for me. But even at the time, I didn't want to see that. And so it took the second time, which was just a few years ago. â matter of fact, it was about two and a half years ago where I sit now. And â yeah. He said, Okay, I'm gonna give you one more chance to listen to me and to wake up. And he gave me â or allowed me to give myself, I guess, â walking pneumonia that I didn't know that I had. And I carried it for over a year and it got worse and worse and worse and kept shutting down my lungs more and more and more every month till I got to the point where one was completely filled and shut down and the other one was starting to shut down. And all the while I'm just sitting here thinking that I'm, you know, just sick with the flu and it I can't shake it. And I'm old and I'm fat, so I don't feel good, you know. All the things you tell yourself until one day I'm sitting there and â I'm I'm timing. You know, my breathing, because I feel it getting shorter. And I start to time it. And I'm I look at my wife and I go, at this rate, I'm not gonna be breathing in about 10 minutes. We gotta get out of here. So she throws me in the truck, races me to the hospital, breaks by five laws, and I get right to the emergency room and pass out straight down. Boom. Done. Thought I was dead, man. That was it. I blacked out, couldn't breathe anymore, couldn't take another breath. â I woke up with You know, tubes coming out of everywhere and you know, breathing again, but realizing that â not only should that illness have killed me, but after three weeks of the hospital and about fourteen different attempts at â fixing me, the doctor comes in and goes, Well, there's one way to fix you. And â you gotta have this huge surgery. And â I didn't I only had about a twenty percent chance making it up. And â so I basically in here was saying goodbye. Cause I'm like, I'm not the guy that that gets the twenty percent shot. I'm not the guy who who makes the the last minute three pointer, you and wins the game. That's not how this goes. I'm the grinder. I'm the guy who, you know, rebounds and works hard and you know, brings in the launch pail. And I'm like, if I have a twenty percent chance, that's probably no chance. So I'm basically going into this thinking I'm done. And â then I woke up. And after about three weeks of recovery in the hospital before I could even start leaving and and moving, â I I heard the message. And â it was my wife that brought it to me. My wife has always carried the torch of faith in our house. She made sure my sons knew about God, knew about Jesus, knew about the Holy Spirit. She made sure that they had the option to go with her to church and to explore on their own. She's the reason why they are both devout Christians today, married, families, happy. â because in spite of my anger, somehow I had the wisdom to not shut it down for everybody else. I made sure that I supported her in bringing that to them. I just couldn't couldn't do it myself. And so for three weeks, when you're in the hospital and you've watched your last rerun of Welcome Back Cotter, you know, you you just can't watch what's on that TV anymore. And you're sitting there quietly and your wife hasn't left your side. And it's three o'clock in the morning and you're talking about all the stuff that you never thought you'd talk about. She and I are talking about God. We're talking about my faith. We're talking about, you know, what has really happened and â what I got sent back for. And I started to realize all the times that he was there in my life, â making a big difference when he was there in my life carrying me and I had no idea. â And even the time when I almost took my own life, when he stopped it, and how. And how I didn't want to give him credit 'cause I was so mad. And when I left that hospital, I â for the first time in my life, I was a completely different man. I left there going, I'm not wasting another day. I'm giving the glory to God because I now see what He's done. And there's a big shock when you understand here, you know, in your mind, that you shouldn't be here anymore. You should have been gone multiple times. And even this last time, there was nothing on paper that said, You're gonna be here tomorrow. You know, you were done. And somehow you woke up. And the doctor walks into my into my â you know, recovery room and he's like, Man, he said, I don't understand a lot of this, but you have the strongest heart. I've ever seen in a guy your age. And he said, We were worried about a couple things during surgery. Nothing came to pass because your heart just kept thumping away. He said, You got a Clydesdale in there. I'm like, okay, you know, when your your doctor comes in and says you have the heart of a Clydesdale horse, I guess that's pretty good. â well, it wasn't for me. And when you realize all that, you know, David, it â you reach a point where you simply can't deny it anymore. And you have to kinda understand that everything he did was for a reason. And so instead of being angry about all the things I had to go through, I started really looking at why you know, why would I have to go through all those things? And I I really brought all that into my podcasting and I brought all that into my my work. Into my life, into my parenting. And I realized that, you know, for me to help the people I needed to go help, I needed to experience those things. And â that's kind of where I that's where I am now. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So â so you you gave your heart to Jesus, he became real in your life. Usually there's a if you pardon my my words. That was my line. But it's like a line in the sand. There's there's me before and finally I step over that line and say, Okay, God, you get the rest of me. And â that happened to you in the hospital then. So the intellect is who we is the photograph of of the Grand Canyon. And then when you give your heart to Jesus, you're standing in front of the Grand Canyon, and you can see the majestic difference in a snapshot versus the experience. And so many of us have the snapshot of God in our head. We what we learned in Sunday school or what we learned somewhere, but it's not what we live, it's just it's in it's in the Rolodex in our head. But when you have that moment when God me reveals Himself to you lovingly, in your case through the message of your wife, but it's still God. You know, the the th those who bring the message are the mailmen. They just they just deliver the message. The message doesn't change. And it doesn't matter what building you you grew up in, whether you're Baptist, Catholic, Methodist, whatever. Doesn't the the labels burn off on the way up. When we get to heaven, there's not going to be, â look, you're in the Catholic section, or â look, there's the Baptist section. There's just going to be either you're in or you're out. Welcome or not welcome. But God, God's not willing that any area is supposed to perish. All are supposed to have eternal life. So it's a choice away. And when we choose that choice, life's change. And it's profound. â you know there's a lot of material ways in which it's changed my life, which has been great. And it's so much more rich and powerful of that anger. Flavors are getting in the way sometimes. â and surrender is without anything in the existence of and you just say okay, you get all help from So now that you've done that, how does that change your life? It It's like weight falls off you. It's like you're carrying a big yoke around your neck and you just finally put it down. And I didn't realize what I was carrying â till I realized I could put it down. And â when I put it down for good, which was a few weeks later, â talking to â you know, my pastor. And â my sons got me to start going back to church. â Pretty much right before I got sick. And I really only did it for them. Because I was like, Well, I'm not gonna argue with them, they want me to go. And I would sit there trying to connect, but mad, you know, or picking apart the sermon in my head, going, you know, yeah, it must be nice, you know, and stuff like that. When I went back, â even my pastor was like, How you doing? And I was like, much better. And he's like, You seem really different. And I had some of this conversation with him, and you could just tell he could tell. I wasn't carrying that weight anymore. And â that was the first time I broke down in church. â he went around, you know, you know, every head down, every eye, all eyes closed, every head down, bowed, you know. â if you want to, you know, give your life right now to â to Christ, pray for you, you know. â put your hand up. And for the first time ever, I put my hand up. And I just felt that. And I lost it. I lost it right there. And I'm a big, you know, like He Man guy too. I I you don't cry. Never let anybody see you weak. You don't do any of that stuff. And â so for me to be sitting there in church bawling was I I I feel like I broke the last chain right there in that chair. Yeah. It was amazing to me. â since then, decision making is easier. â I decided I wasn't doing anything that that didn't benefit my family. Period. â I left the job that I was at when I got sick and said, I'm doing this full time. Became a podcaster and a coach and everything else full time. And I said, I'm doing what fills me up. I'm doing what I'm called to do. I'm not gonna go punch a clock for anybody else. No way. Things have just happened. They've just materialized for me. Like Almost like people putting bricks down a path in front of you, going, Hey, if you just believe the path's gonna show up, I'll keep putting bricks in there. And I I didn't know that, David. I didn't know what faith was, you know, till I started using it, actually doing it, right? It's funny that that faith has to be practiced before it can actually be like seen. Yeah. Yeah. So it has changed my life exponentially, you That's what they are. Yeah. â they all noticed immediately. Immediately. â during my recovery I had a lot of really good conversations. â both my boys â are very active â in their ministry. my youngest son is â yeah â in addition to running his business, â volunteers all the time at the church and is becoming an associate pastor. How did how did it affect your family? They they really Started conversations with me for the first time ever about this stuff. They always knew I was the one who didn't want to talk about it. You know, dad has a problem with God, mom doesn't, so it's okay. And it never stopped anybody from talking about it, but they didn't want to bring it up to me because they didn't want to fight with their dad over it, you know? And for them to come in and go, So I'd like to talk to about your faith a little bit. And I was like, okay. They were like, This really is okay. Like, mom's not lying to us, right? Mom's not gaslighting us about what happened when you were in a hospital. They were a little timid at first. It was kind of funny. but then when they started the conversations and I really engaged with the conversations, they could just see the difference. And they all said the same thing. You know, Dad, you are so different right now. Let's go. And I'm like, well, you facing the fact that you shouldn't be here and realizing why you are still here â wakes you up. And â yeah, and so that I mean that was the biggest thing with the family, I think, was they saw the difference and we're a little we're a little like, okay, is this real? Can we trust this? But â but now, you know, we we get to go to church together, we get to have conversations together, we get to experience it all together. And it's That's a pretty good hint. Y you realize all these things you missed out on, you know, being able to have all of this with my kids all that time. â that hurts once in a while when you think about it, but then you go, you know what? It's not about what you missed, it's about what you get to do moving forward. So that's that's pretty much how it's impacted them. Well, when you give your heart to Jesus â and you ask him to forgive you, his Holy Spirit moves in as the blood of Jesus that he shed at the cross is for our healing and our deliverance. When that's applied to all our disobedience, our stubbornness, our pride, our anger, all that, when we give it to God, he takes the blood from Jesus and washes it away. It's gone forever. You can't even find the it's not a chalkboard where you write down the w and the words are still there, kinda. It's clean and you have a pure, clean start. So everything before is history. It's a good place to remind yourself not to go back, but it doesn't own your life. It's just it's just who you are now. And that new who you are starts with a clean slate with God. And if you do mess up, you have a good father, heavenly father, one you can come to and say, Hi Dad, I screwed up, I messed up, I blew it. Please forgive me and give me the mercy to forgive myself. Help me to get up and move forward, not go back and be myself again. And watch how that changes every piece of your life. And for those that are watching or listening, I want you to know that giving your heart to Jesus doesn't mean you're gonna be instantly changed. Suddenly, like lightning struck, and you're gonna be a whole different person. You're you're gonna be a whole different person. Our personal relationship with Jesus is just that personal. So for some people, it's like a love. Just a very subtle, like a feather blowing by. For other people, like Rory and me as a lightning bolt. But there's no bad way because we're all persons. We're individuals. So God deals with our hearts individually. So no matter w how much you've been hurt or how much you've been betrayed, how much how much you've just been let down by life, that's when you give your heart to Jesus, that becomes part of your history, not your life. But that gives you a springboard into this new life. Where you know when you look back, you go, â no, not I'm not going back to the garbage dump. Nope, nope, nope, I'm not going back there. I want to find out how do I get this the other way, how do I go forward? So you pick up your Bible and you say, You know, teach me God. I want to know what's in there. If this is your love letter to me, maybe I should I should find out how you love me. And I would always encourage people to go in the New Testament. And Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John are the first four books. And there if if you want to know how to live for God, those four books will get you. And I always encourage people to start with the book of John, which is the book of love, and learn how God loves us. Then go to Matthew and read Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John again with that filter of what John has said. And that'll give you a good solid foundation, a place to when you go fishing, you drop an anchor, not so that you can't fish, but so you can stay in one place and fish. When you give your heart to Jesus and you get into the work so you don't get blown away by the wind with everything or kept taken away by by some swell or something. No matter what ca hits you, you're still there. And God never leaves us or forsakes us. He's with us always. So he does that for us and with us. And so I'm so grateful to hear what God has done in your life. You know? Yeah. Well, and you know, â I when I when I find someone like you who who I can I can directly identify with because of similar struggles. â I started in sales, by the way. You and I before before Jesus I was selling things from the time I was a little kid. So we have much in common, even though our paths aren't the same, we have things in common. But the biggest thing we have in common is we were and we didn't like who we were. And we were miserable with who we were, and we didn't know how to fix it, so we pushed our way forward. When we finally hit the wall and realized there was no more forward, we asked God for help. And He gently and lovingly gave us that help and changed changed our lives. And then we become a new creature. With a new hope. And some people go to church and they they get their hearts to Jesus and then they get wiped out by life and they pull away. And for those You rededication is a simple thing. You know, you don't you don't just go back to square one. You pick up where you left off and say, Okay, God, I know I've given sixteen years ago I loved you and I was doing crazy for you. And now I'm crazy without you and I don't like it. So I'm gonna come back. Like the prodigal son, I want to come back to my dad. I want to come back to at least something. And then God pours his love on us and he doesn't just give us something, he gives us everything. And that's so amazing. And our viewers, I want you to know that â this is not about perfect people teach telling you about perfect things. This is about regular, ordinary, common people who have who have finally discovered an extraordinary God. And in spite of all the other nonsense of this world, they've chosen God over nonsense. â You you give God what you can and just keep living for him and and he'll â gent gently show you that you need to give up something else and he'll give you something even better and trade off for it. So you don't give up and and get empty. You give up it's like why would I eat green bologna when I can have prime rib? You know, I've been I lived on green bologna 'cause that's all it there was. But once I tasted the good stuff, would I ever want to go back to Green Bologna? I don't think so. And that's how our lives are that much different when we finally fall in love with Jesus. You know, I love that. In every interview we always invite our guests when I was younger to to tell â us a brush your teeth nuggets and clean everything up before you want to â People can mull over and it because you didn't want the dentist to think that you were some horrible. What do you got that you could give And I think too many people feel that way about God. We can pray about, meditate over, feel that way about They feel like, you know, well I gotta change and and be a little better at this, or I have to maybe go to church first. â it is never too late in your life and it is never too soon to start. And you do not have to do anything to get ready. You simply have to. Ask. That's it. You simply have to ask. If you ask Jesus to come to you, He's gonna. There is no pre-qualification. And I think that that is a very big thing that people make a mistake on that they get hung up on. And I really wish for everyone that they would just wake up before they end up too late. â I was almost. Too late. And God said, you know what? It's never too late. And he gave me one last shot. â it's never, ever too late to ask Jesus to come in your life. So just do it. Just do it. There is no downside. So just do it. Right. Absolutely. What one of the big things that that I â thank you for that by the way, but one of the big things that happens when as a pastor of fifty years, I've I can't tell you how many people say, Well, I wanted to quit smoking and I wanted to do this and I want to do that before. And but if you open up the Bible, it doesn't say, Come change these things and come see me. It's come as you are. I mean Jesus picked fishermen and tax collectors. He didn't pick the top of the crop. He picked the regular guys and changed their lives and then from them changed other lives. He's not looking for for people with PhDs piled higher and deeper. He's looking for ordinary people who are are smart enough to turn off the mental argument. Don't turn off your brain, but just the argument. And open up your heart and say, okay, I don't know. But I want to know. Reveal yourself to me. I heard about the Holy Spirit that will lead you and guide you and guide your and direct your life. I'd love some direction right now. Be my flashlight and show me where to go. And when that happens, it's profound the changes that will happen. Because it's it's not it's not going to be like it is for David or like it is for Rory. It's going to be like it is for you. Because it's you and Jesus that work these things out. So it's not going to be identical, but it is going to change your life. And I I think it's it's it's wonderful that God does these things. But don't wait until it's your last ditch. Don't wait until you you're you're you're almost smothered to death or you've you've almost killed yourself five times. Don't wait until it's that desperate. Be desperate for his love before it's a threat. Before it's a crisis. You tired of where you are, tired of what you're doing, tired of how the life is with what and you can't manage it besides on on your own. You can't do it on your own? Well, here's your answer. Jesus said, I'm the way, the truth, and the life. God, you know, let's come to God the Father, but through me. That doesn't mean God doesn't want you. That means God went out of his way to want you. Sin is disobedience. When you know what right is, you do the wrong thing, that's a sin. When you give your heart to Jesus, all those things you knew were wrong and you did anyhow, that gets washed away. You get a clean slate like a toddler learning how to trust and love. And so spiritually we become like toddlers. We we take baby steps, the bigger steps, until we can run and jump and thrive in the new environment. But God's not trying to make you don't have to jump through these big hoops to get there. You just show up. Open the heart and trust. And that's my heart's car call to you, and I I know it's it's Rory's, that you discover just how amazing God really is, how He wants to change our lives forever and ever and ever. And it starts with one trust, one choice, one day, one opportunity to just turn off the arguments in the head long enough. To open up the heart. The greatest distance in our lives with God is from here to here. That's that is the six inch twenty million mile â tour. Because we can live our whole life here. Thank you, man. I appreciate it very much. But if if we trust God and say, This doesn't cut, I want more of this, God can do this. He can say, Come as you are. And that's what we want. Don't struggle any longer than you have to. Come forward. Do something good with your life. Shock yourself. No good. Exactly right. So â worry, â this has been a delight. I am so glad you came on. Yeah. Right on. And I appreciate it too. I don't know who's trying to call me on my phone, but I turned my phone off and it came back on. So I'm gonna turn it off while we're talking here. That's crazy. Sounds good. I've never had my phone turned back on when I turned it off before. Somebody doesn't want us to talk about this. But we need to talk about it because there's nothing greater. No more green baloney. We want heavenly things. So we're gonna pray and ask God to to do something remo remarkable with this this whole interview and how it could touch a life. And then I I'll have a challenge for you at the end. So let's pray. Heavenly Father, we praise you and thank you for the Your Mercy and Your Love. I'm so grateful that you put Rory and I together so we could tell everybody about how amazing you are and how you you can take us in our last scrap of an effort and and all the things we've not wanted to do but did our whole life anyhow because we didn't know another way. And you can you can cleanse our heart, you can change this from the inside out, and you can do something remarkable with what's left over. So many people say I have nothing to give you God. Well you everything he needs he already created. He just wants you to surrender it. Just to say okay You take charge. You drive for a while. Lord, do something remarkable in the hearts of those that are watching and viewing. Anoint it, bless it, and do something life changing in the hearts of those who are who are tired of the way it is. Bless them and draw them close to you. And bless Rory's ministry so that it it thrives. Bl bless all of his podcasts, but particularly anoint the the one that brings you the most glory. Bless his home and his family and draw them closer to you than ever before. And Lord, whatever you have for us, Lord, do it to your glory and let us give you the credit for it because you deserve it in Jesus' name. Amen. Now, the â the big thing is we we are so eager to to to do this here. But if you want to know God, simple. Just ask him. You want to know him better, seek Jesus. He said he was the way to God. Once you've done those things, you'll know God, you can seek after him, he will be found, and your life will be changed. Be encouraged. This is a new day. This has been the God Says Yes Podcast with David Ebel. To connect with David, email him at GodsaysYespodcast at gmail.com. You can get his latest book, When the Doctors Say No, God Says Yes, at Amazon.com.
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